Giving Thanks for 2010

While I'm not so much into New Years Resolutions, I am definitely into the excitement of new beginnings and fresh starts... as well as the hope that accompanies a New Year.. hope for the exciting, challenging, life-giving experiences and events that are to come. At this time of the year, I think we can get so caught up in making goals for the new year (in addition to thinking about the goals that we maybe didn't reach or achieve from this past year)... that I think sometimes we forget to look back and consider all of the things that we have experienced and learned. In this spirit of remembrance and gratitude (and nostalgia!!), I wanted to take a minute to give thanks for a few meaningful things and experiences that occurred in my life this last year. And I would encourage you to do the same as you look both behind and ahead!!

My Office, North Raleigh !!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I LOVE (therapy!), to have an office that I love (that's my office on the left!), and to share office space with a friend I love. As if that weren't enough, a new Whole Foods is opening in just a month right across the street from my office.. I sure have a lot to be thankful for :). 


Of course, it doesn't mean that the transition into having my own practice this year has been without its bumps, but I have SO enjoyed being out on my own, I have learned so much professionally and personally, and truly could not be happier. Sometimes big changes can be daunting... Ray Bradbury's quote about courage often comes to mind.. that sometimes when you leap off a cliff you have to learn to build your wings on the way down. I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have had to build my wings these last few years and for the awesome people in my life who have helped me to develop these wings so that I could float and fly this year when I needed to...

I am also so encouraged and energized by the people that I work with each day, and learn so much about life and the human condition from each person that I meet. I am thankful that people let me into their lives and are willing to share their hearts, their struggles and their fears, including those of you who read my blog. Thanks for reading, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with me as well. 

I have to say that I am also thankful for new experiences that I have had this year, visiting and seeing new places, 'making new friends and keeping the old', and for all of the chances I have had to grow, change, learn and love. I am excited to see what 2011 brings. I am confident that this next year will usher in both challenges and opportunities, both of which I look forward to...  

I took this picture while I was sailing in Maui in July... !

   

In light of a new year approaching that is sure to be full of new experiences and new challenges, I wanted to mention that I love getting feedback from readers about what YOU want to be reading about! If there is ever a topic or a question that you have that you would like for me to attempt to address, please let me know! You can send me an email at MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com, or you can post a comment beneath this post or following any post! Hope you all are enjoying what is left of 2010!!  

Merry Christmas!! : )

Helpful Hints for the Holidays...

I came across this creative acronym below ('happy holidays') on a site called 'Something Fishy'-- a resource for eating disorder information, as well as referral sources for treatment care providers. Anyways, Sharon Sward is the one who created this acronym, and it is a little tool that serves to remind us of some helpful things during a season in which food can be a central part of celebrations, and consequently can cause anxiety, discomfort, urges and triggering thoughts and feelings. Check it out below... 

Hunger means you eat when physically hungry instead of emotionally hungry.

Attitudes about your size have to do with the size of your heart instead of the size of your body.

People accept and value you for who you are, not according to how you look.

Problems are resolved in ways other than stuffing your feelings with food.

You spend as much time and energy on helping others as you do on how you look.

Happiness comes from within rather than from expectations of others.

Occasions for the holidays emphasize relating to others instead of emphasizing food.

Love of self means you deserve to treat yourself in the best humanly possible way.

Identity of self involves more than how you look.

Disapproval of self is changed to approval of who you are.

Acceptance of what one can not change includes your body features.

You treat yourself as you treat your best friend.

Society values you for being you without emphasis to your weight or size.

by: Sharon Sward, President of Eating Disorder Professionals of Colorado

Author of You Are More Than What You Weigh

Radio Talk Show Host on self-esteem, weight, and eating disorders

Jenifer Ringer: A Body Image Role Model for the Holidays

One of my favorite Christmas traditions growing up?? Going to see the Nutcracker Ballet. I was pretty involved in ballet until the 7th grade, so it made the ballet even that much more meaningful and special to me. I have to say it's been a few years since I've gone- I think the last time I went I saw a very 'interesting' production at the Raleigh Memorial Theatre that featured a more modern interpretation and ballet style. Because I have such positive and warm memories surrounding the Nutcracker, it was even more sad to hear about what happened recently- that something so festive and beautiful could turn into an opportunity for criticism and ignorance. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, there was a pretty big controversy recently over some comments that dance critic Alistair Macaulay from the NY Times wrote about Jenifer Ringer, the ballerina playing the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in the New York City Ballet's production of the Nutcracker. His critical comments were focused on her weight, which is bad enough- but she has been open about her struggles with anorexia and disordered eating in the past, which seemed to make this critique even more upsetting, disappointing, and irresponsible. Ringer was interviewed on the Today Show by Ann Curry, and I was extremely moved by how strong, gracious, articulate and healthy she was in communicating about the whole thing! This clip below is the segment that was featured- it provides the backstory as to what actually happened, and also includes the interview with Ringer. In total it is about 7 minutes, and I would really encourage you to watch it. (I have watched it a few times!!) She does a fabulous job of articulating that being a dancer did not cause her eating disorder (she busted an ED myth!) and around the 6:40 mark she has some very encouraging words for us about our bodies. Check it out below.

On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

One thing that I have noticed is how intense 'fat talk' and 'diet talk' have gotten around this holiday season. Perhaps this is a result of the holidays becoming increasingly about food and the increasing obsession with the diets and dieting that is just part of our diet-crazed culture!! It just seems like there are more comments about food being made, who is eating or not eating what, who has gained weight and who has lost it, etc... The sad thing to me is that there are sooo many more interesting things to talk about!!! I was actually at a holiday party recently and someone (who probably doesn't read my blog-haha) was going around asking me and others how much we weigh (!!). A number is just a number, but if it's just a number and it doesn't mean anything, then why waste breath/energy/time talking about it? (I had fun with that question, by the way!!)

I heard someone say awhile ago that food should be neutral- like toothpaste. I'm still working out the analogy as to whether I think it's helpful :) But here is what I have so far- Do we have fears about toothpaste? No, not typically. Do we think about it much? No, not really. We do notice it when we're brushing our teeth, we notice that we like some kinds of toothpaste and dislike others... and we might also recognize the purpose that toothpaste serves... which is to clean our teeth! Granted, toothpaste is not food, and the analogy is not perfect but if we can strive to approach food mindfully, noticing what we like, noticing our hunger cues and honoring them, and working to meet our nutritional needs in order that we might have energy to live full lives (purpose!), then I think we are heading in a positive direction.

As you celebrate the holidays this year- and the days leading up to them, take some time to reflect on how you might respond to 'fat talk', 'diet talk' or conversations about weight and food that may not be healthy. Change starts with ourselves, so perhaps you can focus first on your own thoughts! For more on beating fat talk, follow this link, this one, or this one!

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. While I typically blog about eating disorders, body image and beauty, I sometimes like to take a minute to write about other things that are on my heart! And today, this is one of them.

Last night, I was talking to one of my best friends who lives in Chicago... we don't always have the best luck connecting via phone (she is a resident who works nights sometimes- think Grey's Anatomy) but when we do, we usually laugh a lot and have really good conversations about our lives. We share a passion for Africa, and she introduced me to vanilla chai (my favorite) at the first Student Global AIDS Campaign meeting we went to in college- thanks, Ali:). She is currently an OBGYN resident at Northwestern- and is one of the smartest, funnest girls I know. Well this past year, through a series of chaotic circumstances one night at work, she ended up getting stuck with an HIV infected needle. I was scared when she asked me to pray for her, but thankfully, the risk of contracting HIV this way is very low. Still, as small as the risk was, there was still a chance that she could be HIV positive... and that was scary! After several tests (and weeks of anti-retroviral drugs), her results came back negative. I was and still am so thankful that she is ok! (So is her husband!:))

In light of it being World AIDS Day, I was thinking about how lucky she was to have access to ARV drugs. These drugs are expensive and not everyone has access to them. The theme this year for World AIDS Day 2010 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights.' Human rights violations (sex trade and trafficking) fuel the incidence of HIV. The focus this year is on protecting human rights while also working to provide better prevention efforts globally as a means of cutting the occurrence of transmission. Take some time today to think about your health, your body, your rights as a person, and consider how you might help someone who isn't as fortunate to have what you do. To learn more about World AIDS Day, and ways that you can get involved, follow this link.

On Giving Thanks...

I can't even believe it is this time of year again... Thanksgiving!! Time flies!! In light of Thanksgiving being very much a 'food' holiday (something that can be anxiety provoking for those who struggle with food), one thing that I think can be helpful is to go back to the basics of what Thanksgiving is truly about! Soo, I asked cha cha where Thanksgiving originated (just kidding!!). No but really, Thanksgiving marks a time when the pilgrims voyaged to America. After a tough year, in which more than a third of those who had come over on the Mayflower died, there had been a very plentiful harvest and so, they commemorated their blessings with a feast. I think along the way, Thanksgiving took on some cultural adaptations- you know, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving:), but specifically the kinds of food that we consider to be traditional Thanksgiving food (the pilgrims ate more of a traditional English meal).

Anyways, the point is that the pilgrims were celebrating their blessings after a tough year. And while all of us have had different kinds of years- some good, some tough, some both- I think that no matter what our days, weeks, months and year have been like, it is good to set aside time to be thankful!! There is always something to be thankful for : ) This year has been a year of change for me with going out on my own in private practice. And I am so thankful for all that this change and this year have brought. I am thankful for health, family, a job that I love, and people in my life that I love. I am thankful that I woke up this morning, I am thankful that there is a roof over my head, I am thankful that my body functions as it was created to. I am thankful for Peace that surpasses all understanding, I am thankful for sunshine, I am thankful for the hope that I have in days to come. : )

What are you thankful for this year??

How Far Does the Thin Ideal Extend??

According to a recent study published, preschool aged girls- as young as 3!!- indicate a preference towards thinness. How is that even possible??! I was actually skeptical when I saw this headline! But as I read this study (here!), it all started sounding way too believable. I obviously get that media has an impact upon how we define beauty, and I also am all too familiar with the ways in which modeling can influence us. I'm not talking about supermodels walking the runway... but about behaviors and attitudes that we pick up on by observing those around us. Anyways, in this study, the researchers tried to determine the childrens attitudes about weight by watching them choose game pieces (for board games like Candyland- my favorite!) that they had specifically constructed- a thin girl, an average girl, and an overweight girl. They watched the girls choose the pieces and interact with them, and asked them about the pieces as well. While it is very difficult to study body issues and perceptions in 3 year olds, there were some pretty strong reactions among the children to the game pieces. Some of them were very reluctant to play the game using the overweight girl game piece, and the majority would have rather been the average girl if they could not be the thin girl. To read more of the findings regarding the study, follow the link above- or here!

So what can we do in the face of some discouraging news about innocent little girls picking up on the thin ideal at the age of 3 years old?! Well, I think that regardless of whether or not we have children, nieces/nephews, interact with children daily, etc.. there are things that we can do. First, emphasize health over weight. Helping children (and ourselves, really!) to place the focus on our bodies being strong and able to engage in activities that we enjoy takes the focus off of a number. Second, avoid fat talk! What is fat talk?? Anything that reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies. ("I look SO fat in this!" "Oh, wow, you look great, have you lost weight?" "I need to lose ten pounds" "She's too fat to be wearing that") I have written a lot about fat talk before- check out this link or this one for more info! Lastly, if you do have children or if you are ever around kids, encourage and affirm them for who they are- their personalities, their character traits, positive things that they have done, their interests- rather than how they look! This extends to us grown-ups as well:) I think that if we can start to redefine beauty (and the thin ideal) by focusing on beauty as more than just our looks (by focusing on our hearts, our minds, our faith), then we might begin to know our true worth and value.

More Beautiful You

This song, More Beautiful You, has such a great message. I wasn't going to post it because I was trying not to be cheesy (the video/song are both), but then when this song came up on one of my Pandora stations a few minutes ago (after I had heard this song for the very first time this morning), I decided maybe it was a sign- haha.

The lyrics of the chorus:

There could never be a more beautiful you

Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through

You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do

So there could never be a more beautiful you.

What great encouragement and a good reminder about how we were created- people with unique purpose, created wonderfully and beautifully. :)

On Recovery...

For anyone interested in reading a great blog post on recovery, check this out. This piece, written by Nancy Matsumoto, is posted on Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto's blog- Eating Disorders and Nutritional News. Nancy re-caps a talk that Carolyn Costin gave at a recent conference and if you are at all asking questions about what recovery from an eating disorder looks like and how you get there, this is def worth checking out!

Drunkorexia Revisited

I have noticed that there have been a few articles circulating recently on 'drunkorexia'... Around this time last year, I wrote a post on drunkorexia that I thought I would re-post it in light of the attention it has been getting in the news! A recent article was written in the LA Times just a few weeks ago (follow this link to read it!)--it's a good one!

Drunkorexia is one of the latest trends in eating disorders. Likeorthorexia, drunkorexia is not a medical or psychological diagnosis; you will not find this term in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. So what is drunkorexia? You might have a clue based on its name, but it is the combination of anorexic or bulimic eating disorder behaviors and alcoholic/binge drinking behaviors. The director of outpatient clinical services for the Renfrew Center, a nationally recognized eating disorder treatment facility, Dr. Douglas Bunnell explains: "Binge drinking is almost cool and hip, and losing weight and being thin is a cultural imperative for young women in America. Mixing both is not surprising, and it has reached a tipping point in terms of public awareness."

This kind of eating disorder is commonly seen in female college students, as participation in binge drinking continues to increase among this population. "Research shows that between 20 and 40 percent of women who suffer with bulimia also have a history of alcohol and/or drug problems. In one study, for example, 37.5 percent of bulimic individuals reported excessive alcohol use and 26.8 percent had a history of alcohol abuse or dependence" (Emax Health, Oct 2009). Another study was conducted in 2009 at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and looked at the relationship between eating disorders and substance use in 13,000 women. What researchers found was that women who had an eating disorder were more likely to use substances than their counterparts without eating disorders. For more on this study, click hereto access this article on Emax Health.com.

It is important to highlight the connection between eating disorders and alcohol-- according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, 72 percent of women who are addicted to alcohol are also engaging in eating disorders. This is a very high number. Considering the health dangers of both alcoholism/binge drinking and eating disorders, the combination is very threatening. Health professionals need to be aware of this condition, as treatment is so essential to avoid the potentially fatal consequences of such behaviors. It is also helpful for people to be informed about drunkorexia, as we all might have family members, loved ones or others that we know who are possibly dealing with it. For more information, follow this LINK to read an article published in the NY Times last year on drunkorexia.

Happy November!

It's a new month, and with a new month, comes some good news from a recent study... Results from a national survey (conducted by the National Eating Disorders Association) reveal that the general public's awareness about eating disorders has dramatically increased. Great news! According to the study, 82% of people would agree that an eating disorder is a physical OR mental illness. 78% of people believed that they would know if someone was suffering from an ED, and 95% said if they knew someone that was suffering from an ED, they would help the person seek the appropriate help.

That is definitely progress and encouraging news. : ) One area that the survey highlighted was the fact that overall, specific knowledge about eating disorders has not increased and that the incidence of eating disorders has not declined. Rather than being discouraged by this part of the survey's results, it just reminds me that there is still a need to continue to raise awareness and educate people about eating disorders. There has been a lot in the news this week about eating disorders... between Portia de Rossi sharing about her eating disorder (maybe too explicitly!) and Demi Lovato, who quit her tour to allegedly receive treatment for an eating disorder. An interesting comment that Lynn Grefe (NEDA President) made is that too often we focus on trying to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders, which can sometimes reinforce the stigma. She went on to say that having an eating disorder is no different than having any other illness (breast cancer, etc) and that we need to spend more of our time focusing on educating people, especially in light of this recent data. Two thumbs up, Ms. Grefe.

To check out more of the data from this survey, keep checking back in:) The link is through MedScape Med News and technical difficulties are interfering with the link attaching. You can also google 'NEDA survey MedScape' to find it as well!

Airbrushing!

One of my favorite teen movies of the 90s?? She's All That. Its been a looong time since I've seen it, but the actress who plays the offbeat lead character, Laney Boggs (her real name is Rachael Leigh Cook and she's pictured to the right with hunky Freddie Prinze Jr- haha) recently made headlines on her views about airbrushing! Get it girl! Here is what she had to say:

“I did not grow up getting told about how manipulated the images we see of women and girls out there are, and I think it’s an absolute travesty that young women are seeing what the media is feeding them… It breaks my heart to be part of an industry and part of a machine that really pushes out these images and propagates these really terrible standards that are false. Nothing that you see is real, even if you look at what looks like a candid photo of someone, anything can be done. It is false advertising and false advertising is a crime so why isn’t this a crime? I’m just up in arms about it.”

It's nice to see someone talking about the 'false advertising' going on in the media because I think we need to be reminded that what we look at and compare ourselves to is made up! I think the fact that an actress is stepping up to talk about it provides even more credibility. Greg Apodaca has a photography website that has some pictures that you can roll your mouse over, and the image switches from airbrushed to non-airbrushed so you can see the difference. It is pretty wild. Follow this link to check it out... you will be amazed (and not in a good way). Seeing the difference in the photos may help you to view images in print with a more discerning eye :-).

Rachel Roy: A Reminder in Making a Difference

About 2 months ago, designer Rachel Roy presented two of her Fall 2010 collections at Nieman Marcus at Short Hills mall in NJ to benefit NEDA, the National Eating Disorders Association. All of the proceeds of ticket sales benefitted NEDA to support research, prevention and improved accessibility and quality of care for eating disorder treatment. Even though this happened almost 2 whole months ago, I just read about it and felt the need to mention it for a few reasons.

First, a designer supporting NEDA and seeking to raise awarness about eating disorders deserves a mention! But secondly, it is a good reminder that no matter what our vocation, we can all do something to contribute, raise awareness, etc. If you aren't into promoting healthy body image or raising awareness about eating disorders (we aren't all passionate about the same things thankfully, which makes life a little more interesting!), you are probably passionate about something! And this is a great reminder that we can all make a difference, no matter how big or small. Whether you contribute financially, give of your time in some way, or do something entirely creative is up to you! But consider how you might be able to make a difference in the lives of others! You might be surprised to find that you end up having greater perspective in your life as you work to serve and contribute to those around you.

It's Love Your Body Day!!

There's a lot going on this week!! Fat Talk Free Week started Monday, and today, October 20, is Love Your Body Day!

Having one day set aside to be thankful for our bodies is great, and yet, I think that loving our body is something we should try to do everyday! This can be a pretty tough task.. which is why I italicized the word 'try.' : ) Take some time out today to consider all that your body does for you- that usually fosters gratitude for what we have!!

Fat Talk Free Week is Here!

Fat Talk Free Week is happening this week. What does this mean?? Well, if you scroll down, the last few posts that I have written have been geared towards Fat Talk Free Week! This is a week set aside each year by Delta Delta Delta to raise awareness and promote healthy body image. The idea is that by making an intentional focus throughout the week not to 'fat talk' we might encourage ourselves and each other to think more positively, have a better self image, and not put a negative focus on our bodies.

So, what exactly is 'fat talk'???

"My butt looks huge!"

"My jeans are too tight!"

"You look really good, have you lost weight?"

"I look so gross today."

"I need to work out double today since I ate that piece of cake yesterday."

"I wish I could wear a size (---)"

"I need to lose 10 lbs."

These are just a few examples-- I am sure you can think of others that you say or have heard others say. I think we are pretty desensitized to 'fat talk' and for that reason, I think just becoming more aware of its presence and trying to eliminate it could bring about a huge and positive change- not just for us but for those around us too. Consider how your words have an impact on others-- when we say these disparaging remarks about ourselves in the presence of others, we are not just shaming ourselves- we are shaming others! It is difficult not to influence others when we speak negatively about our bodies or choices with food or the size of our jeans- so even if it is just out of respect for others, be kind to yourself! Try it this week and see how it feels! : )

In honor of Fat Talk Free Week coming up (it starts Monday!), I wanted to point you to a few great reads that have been published online in the last few days. The first is an article that I just read-- a very empowering and bold interview given by plus size model and winner of America's Next Top Model cycle 10, Whitney Thompson. She is very outspoken about her role in the modeling industry as a voice of change and as one promoting healthy body image. In fact, she is an ambassador (aka- spokesperson) for the National Eating Disorders Association, NEDA. It is def worth checking out; Sunny Gold's article and interview with Whitney can be found by following this link to the Huffington Post (what else?!).

The other article is one that was just published in Newsweek and has been getting a lot of attention. Newsweek wrote an article mentioning Fat Talk Free Week- a pretty big deal, as far as creating awareness! It's a great article that defines the essence of Fat Talk Free Week. Check it out here. And in the meantime, consider how you can start cutting the fat talk out of your life. Start small! More to come in the next few days!

Feeling Fat?? 7 Tips from Dr. Susan Albers

I have mentioned my love for the Huffington Post several times in posts past. Well, I want to share an article written by the fabulous Dr. Albers that was published on Friday in light of Tri-Delta's Fat Talk Free Week that is approaching (October 18-22). Dr. Albers is known for her work with mindful eating and has written many great books on the topic. In her article, she presents 7 tips to help you deal when you are feeling fat! Follow this link to check it out!

For a brief overview, her 7 tips are below! They are outlined thoroughly in her article, but just wanted to give you an idea of what you will find...

1. Pump up the music. Drown your inner critic with an empowering song!

2. Join Operation Beautiful. (Check out one of my favorite posts on Operation Beautiful- here!)

3. Lose the F-word. (Stop the fat talk- Fat Talk Free Week is approaching- pledge to eliminate this language from your vocabulary!)

4. Outsmart your thoughts.

5. Get cozy. (Wear clothes that make you feel good and that are comfy!)

6. Take a mindful walk.

7. Name it. (Fat isn't a feeling... so what are you feeling?)

Mean Girls, Fat Talk and A Video Contest!

Mean Girls was- and still is- a classic movie about high school, popularity, and being true to yourself. It makes me laugh every time I watch it (mostly out of disbelief) because of the way it depicts the social strata of high school. I will say that one thing Mean Girls does a great job of is humorously exposing some of the hideous ways that us girls treat each other, as well as the ways that we talk about ourselves and one another. I remember at my high school, we had our own version of 'the plastics' but they called themselves 'the six pack.' Gross! Anyways, one scene that really stands out to me takes place in Regina George's bedroom, where all four 'mean girls' are hanging out. They end up in front of the mirror, picking themselves apart and engaging in negative talk about their bodies. Cady, the new girl in the group, doesn't understand why they are talking so badly about themselves. The following is the dialogue that takes place in front of the mirror:

"My hips are huge."

"Oh please, I hate my calves."

"At least you can wear halters, I have man shoulders."

"My hairline is so weird."

"My pores are huge."

"My nail beds suck."

Now, let's face it. We all have moments where we may not feel our best, but ladies, this kind of talk, also known as 'fat talk' needs to stop! It is sad that we can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. So, what is fat talk and why do we need to cut it out?? According to the Reflections: Body Image Program, "Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”." Fat talk reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies, and also has a negative impact on others as well!

So what can we do about this?! Well, there is a very unique way for you to get involved, share your voice, and help to impact change!! Fat Talk Free Week, put on annually by Tri-Delta and the Reflections: Body Image Program, will be starting soon-- on October 18-22! I will be posting more on this as the time draws closer, but wanted to alert you all of a great opportunity! This year, there is a video contest. Make a short video to show what you are doing to end 'fat talk' and upload it to the official End Fat Talk facebook fan page (here). Video submissions are due by Wednesday, October 20. Once uploaded, friends and family can vote for your video and one lucky winner will take home a $1000 gift card to Best Buy! This video campaign is a great way to promote positive body talk and to impact change!!

Below is a powerful video that was made to inspire change, as well as to promote Fat Talk Free Week. Consider participating in the video contest this year. And if you aren't feeling compelled to submit a video, that's okay!! But think about how else you might be able to get involved this year to help reduce and eliminate fat talk- whether it starts with you, in your own mind and conversations, or in conversations you have with others. One person can make a difference.

On Asking For Help-- And A Horse Named Dude

Last week, I took a little road trip to Virginia where I attended an onsite visit at Remuda Ranch. Remuda is a residential treatment facility for girls and women with eating disorders- they just recently updated their website, and it's worth checking out (follow this link to view it!). Anyways, while I knew quite a bit about Remuda Ranch before visiting, I was really impressed with the quality of care that they provide to patients. I was also impressed with the commitment and value placed on spiritual healing as well! Remuda's treatment program is centered around a Christian approach, however, girls and women of all faiths are respected and welcome and can decide how little or how much they want to participate and interact with the faith piece.

Anyways, Remuda really is a ranch- it's not just called that:-). There is a full service barn complete with horses. No cell phone service, no Starbucks, and nothing but dirt roads and beautiful scenery. Among the therapeutic activities used with patients is equine therapy, which uses experiences and interactions with horses to teach the patients things about themselves, facilitating insight and growth. I was a little skeptical before I really knew anything about it, but after learning more and seeing different demonstrations, it is amazing how much you can learn about yourself from a horse!

I volunteered to help out with an activity and got to meet Dude, an Arabian horse:-). My task was to get him over a jumping bar without touching him. Last time I checked, I wasn't a horse trainer-- and I had NO idea how to make this happen. Once I was in the ring with Dude, I secretly regretted volunteering because I was feeling a little in over my head!! After several frustrating minutes of Dude eating dirt and ignoring my commands to jump over the bar, I finally asked Dave, the man in charge, if he had any suggestions! He didn't (of course), but some of the other therapists that were watching were able to give me some ideas. They told me to take the bar off of the jumping post, and lay it on the ground and have Dude walk over the bar. After much coaxing and guiding him from behind, Dude finally stepped over the bar!!

After processing what happened with Dude (I love that the horse's name is Dude, by the way), Dave mentioned that this particular activity can be useful in illustrating how important it is to ask for help!! He said that he will watch people struggling with an activity like this, not knowing what to do, and watching them get frustrated (like me!), and angry- and yet they don't ask for help. Or, if they do, they wait a really long time before asking. You might see how this applies to eating disorder recovery, and even more so, life!! We were not created to be alone, to have no support or community in our lives. And yet sometimes our pride or life circumstances keep us from reaching out and asking for help! Sometimes admitting we need help and are unable to do things on our own can be a huge step forward... and what a relief to know that we don't have to carry a burden all on our own! Sometimes we don't ask for help because we're not even sure of what we need! But just being able to share a burden with a friend, family member or loved one can be a way of reaching out for help and support.

A History of Our Bodies and Beauty

One thing I have been thinking about lately is trends. They come and go, but while a trend is hot, a majority of people (not everyone, but a lot of people) follow whatever is popular- whether it be a clothing style, accessories (silly bandz anyone?), music, a book or author, electronics, etc. Just an FYI- I'm not knocking on following trends, because let's face it, I'm blogging :)

But as I have been thinking about trends, one thing that has really hit home is the way that 'beauty' and our bodies have been subjected to trends over time. For example, in the early 1900's, Victorian women wore corsets (pictured to the left) in order to make their waists appear smaller for the expressed purpose of accentuating their hips and butt, and to give them the illusion of being rounder and fuller. 20 years later, flapper girls were binding their breasts and working to achieve a boyish figure, thin and straight. 30 years later in the 1950's, Marilyn Monroe was THE icon of beauty. It surprises many people that she was a size 16. She had curves, and her body was the ideal.

It is important to note, as an aside, that throughout the shifts in trends with bodies and beauty, most of us women have tried hard to emulate them, no matter how radical the shift. Case in point, only 10 years later, Twiggy, the super skinny model (hence the name Twiggy) was all the rage and people wanted to look just like her! While thinness and weight loss have continued to be trends since that time, the 1980's were a time in which being fit and toned was considered ideal (Jane Fonda anyone?). When the 1990's rolled around, Baywatch Babe Pamela Anderson was a global icon- she was skinny with huge boobs, which became a major trend in the 90's. If you look around now, the majority of these 'looks' or 'ideals' seem to be outdated, meaning they are no longer in style. How do our bodies and beauty go out of style?

One thing that I have been thinking about is the sheer absurdity of our natural bodies (and how we define beauty) as being defined by trends. Surely, fashions change, and how we wear our makeup and clothes, etc, will change. But I think that we must learn to accept our bodies as they are, and celebrate them as they are because otherwise, we will have a relationship with our bodies that forces us to adapt and change with the trends, meaning we are never able to accept ourselves as we are. The only way for us to feel beautiful is to change ourselves. When the trends begin to change, we must change in order to accept and like ourselves and our bodies. That just seems backwards. It doesn't mean that we all don't ever play into the dynamic of trends, but I think that in considering the history of beauty and our bodies, we may see that beauty is something that goes way deeper, and cannot be defined by trends. If the ideal of beauty is changing every 10, 20, 30 years, maybe we should at least consider defining beauty in ways that don't change. It might help us be more confident, it might help us to accept ourselves and consequently, really love who we are! Think about it, and see what you come up with. Would love to hear your thoughts!

**(History/facts taken from thesite.org)

Body Gossip

There is a very cool body image campaign going on in the UK called Body Gossip. I love the name. This movement is all about encouraging real people to share real stories about their bodies and struggles with body image because "realistic beauty needs celebrating and supporting." They have enlisted celebrity actors and actresses to re-tell stories that people write in and share, and then they film them and make these videos and films available for people to watch! This is something that is happening in the UK, but what a great idea. While I think it would be more powerful for the individuals themselves to share, rather than having celebrities share the stories, I also think it is protective in nature for the individuals whose stories are being shared.

Below is one of the videos that Body Gossip has made- its called 'This One is For You' and it consists of people talking back to the eating disorder identity that can so often be consuming. I think it ends especially powerfully and I encourage you all to check it out.

Project Heal, which I have written about before (here and here) is launching a video project that is accepting one minute videos from anyone who has something to say about healthy body image, struggles with body image, what makes you beautiful, etc. If you are interested in submitting a video and you have questions, you can contact ProjectHeal.ed@gmail.com!

Video Encouragement : )

I am currently working on a presentation for Monday that I am giving on body image to women at a local college, and I am so excited. I have been preparing a multimedia presentation, and although I may have shared this video awhile ago, I want to share it again. Everytime that I watch it, I am moved by how powerful it is to hear different women share their feelings about their bodies. I think I watched it three times yesterday as I was compiling everything for my presentation!!

This video is compliments of The Body Image Project. Take a look and pass it on to your friends who might appreciate it. Not only is it one way to brighten your day, but you may brighten someone else's day by encouraging them to accept and celebrate who they are :)

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.

For those of you unfamiliar with TLC, it is the cable TV network that has brought us such gems as Jon and Kate Plus Eight, The Duggars: 19 Kids and Counting, I Didn't Know I was Pregnant and Toddlers and Tiaras. If my tone isn't giveaway enough, I won't elaborate any more on my opinion of these shows. [I will say, as a disclaimer, that my mind is just so blown by 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant'. How do these women NOT KNOW?!] Anyways, many people really like these shows- and that is just fine. What is not fine is that I just read an article in the LA Times about one of TLC's new shows, airing tonight, which follows people through their issues with food and disordered eating. The name of the show is called Freaky Eaters. Umm... FREAKY EATERS???!!

Now, my thought is that by calling yourself The Learning Channel, your intent is to educate people and help them learn! Part of educating people about eating disorders and helping them to understand disordered eating is to bust myths, emphasize the facts (genetics included), and hopefully in doing so, de-stigmatize mental illness. A show entitled FREAKY EATERS does not help do that- it does just the opposite by stigmatizing eating disorders and disordered eating by calling people 'freaky' who struggle in the ways that they relate to food!! It seems really insensitive and irresponsible.

I would encourage you to follow this link, which will take you to a web page that will allow you to email the network directly and share your feedback with them. You probably have other thoughts in addition to those that I have written- in fact, I am sure that you do! And I would encourage you to share them with the network as well! Part of raising awareness and education is to advocate- and this is a very simple way to do that!