Grateful Tree and the Fashion of Gratitude

Last year, I had the opportunity to interview Brett Clouser (of the reality show Survivor) and Courtney Schreiber of The Monument of Our Hearts (TMOOH). I was so impressed by their clothing company and their mission to "design apparel that creates conversations and empowers people to feel beautiful." In addition, they donate a percentage of their profits to different organizations that promote healthy body image. You can check out that post here (and their merchandise here). While I believe that fashion is generally created with the intention to inspire conversations about beauty, perhaps it is designers like Brett who are trying to empower people by starting different kinds of conversations that are counter-intuitive to the fashion industry's definition of beauty. 

Michelle, me, Karen- grad school friends!

It is rare to find socially conscious clothing lines, which is why I was super excited to hear that one of my friends from graduate school recently started such a clothing line- The Grateful Tree!! But the most exciting part about it is that the clothing company she started is focused on gratitude and helping others. Karen Thiel, the designer, started this company as a way to raise money for her favorite charities. In addition, when any product is sold, a tree is planted through their partner organization Trees for the Future. You can read more about that here. Karen and I met while we were both graduate students at Arizona State University studying counseling psychology- we endured some long study sessions together but have fun memories of Phoenix Suns games and taking a girls trip to Vegas! While we were in school, Karen was volunteering and doing her internship at Healthy Futures, a practice in Scottsdale that specializes in treating eating disorders. (In fact, one of the charities that she donates to is NEDA! The National Eating Disorders Association- more on that below..). Anyways, she got a job there after graduation and worked for awhile before taking a break to launch her clothing line. I had a chance to ask her some questions and wanted to share more with you about what she is doing!!


Q: What inspired you to start Grateful Tree? And where did the name come from? 

Karen: Grateful Tree is a combination of things I love: Positivity, apparel with a cause, comfortable clothing, helping others, & the fashion of gratitude. Last year I was going through much work stress. I craved a creative outlet and something that was light hearted and fun. It felt right to have giving as a key component. The name- “Grateful” came because I wanted to promote the fashion of gratitude; that a shift in thoughts and perspective towards finding appreciation is powerful in times of distress and crucial for finding enjoyment in life. I chose a virtual “Tree” due to my liking of metaphor and symbolism. Trees encompass meaning from so many things; growth, nature, yoga, strength, stability, and beauty. 

Q: Tell me about your shirt that raises money for NEDA!
Karen: I’ve dedicated the Grateful “Hope” shirt to NEDA. Grateful Tree will donate 30% of proceeds from sales of this tee to help support their endeavors. The shirt is turquoise, vintage soft, and made in the U.S.A.

The Grateful 'Hope' Shirt

Q: Why did you choose NEDA as a charity to give to? 


Karen: I’ve been familiar with the work of NEDA for the last few years while working as a clinician in a counseling clinic specializing in the treatment of eating disorders. I admire their creative ventures that bring hope and awareness to communities. Societally, I think that eating disorders are misunderstood and underdiagnosed. Having frequently witnessed the strife that they can have on individuals and families, I feel tremendous compassion for the cause.


I am so proud of Karen for all that she is doing to raise awareness of eating disorders and donating time and money to such a great cause. Beyond that, it's exciting to see someone pursuing creative and unique avenues to impact the lives of others in positive ways. I would encourage you all to check out the website, which is located at www.thegratefultree.com  --you can access it by clicking here. Karen also has a blog that you can check out here! If you are interested in updates and new products, you can also follow The Grateful Tree on Facebook! 

Body Image Role Models...

There have been a lot of articles, blog posts, etc. circulating this week on behalf of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). I read one in particular today that I wanted to share. It is awesome. Dara Chadwick, an author and blogger ("You'd Be So Pretty If...") often writes about her experiences navigating through body image issues as the mother of a small daughter. In her post, she was addressing the issue about whether or not mothers can be body image role models for their daughters if they have body hang-ups of their own. The cool thing about her post is that having children or daughters does not make this post any more or less relevant. I think this is an important question for all of us!! How do we model positive body image to friends, family members, etc, if we sometimes have those days when we don't exactly feel so hot?? What does it mean to have a healthy body image? I love this post. Check it out below-


This past week, I did a reading and body image talk at a local library. I love talking to small gatherings because they often turn into interesting and thought-provoking discussions, and I adore the energy of a great exchange of ideas.

During our discussion, one participant -- who runs a program for teen girls through an area women's resource center -- mentioned that she often struggles with talking to "her girls" about body image because she herself doesn't always feel good about her body. It's a question I hear from moms time and again (and one that inspired the subtitle of You'd Be So Pretty If...) -- how can I raise a daughter who feels good about her body when I don't feel good about my own?

I understand that feeling. Believe me, on days when I look in the mirror and find myself displeased with the image that greets me, I feel like a hypocrite. What kind of body image role model am I if I can't accept myself as I am, always?

But as I thought more about that very question, I came to this conclusion: I'm a good body image role model. To borrow a theme from Oprah, what I know for sure from all my thinking, writing and talking about body image is that perfection doesn't exist, including being the perfect role model. There's no finish line in the body image race -- no point at which we can say, "That's it. I'm done." Self-acceptance is a process, and the reality is that we'll be better at it on some days than others.

Here's what I can say with clarity: Awareness is key. Being aware of -- and owning -- the ways that we disparage, belittle, sabotage and beat up on ourselves is the first step in building a healthier body image. Negative thoughts might creep in from time to time, but I can stop, acknowledge them and re-direct my thinking. In doing so, I build my capacity for breaking the cycle of negative thinking and for re-framing my thoughts in a more positive way. And, in time, positive thinking builds on itself and changes the way we see and talk about ourselves.

Making that choice every day, and teaching others that they can make a similar choice, is at the heart of being a good body image role model.

So, no, you don't have to never have a negative thought or love everything about the way you look to set a great example. You just have to be willing to challenge what you think you see.

Here's to all the body image role models out there.

In other news, I am looking forward to hearing my friend and colleague Ellen Morrison speak tonight at Meredith College on "How to Help Others With Eating Disorders." If you are in Raleigh, come on out- she is speaking at 7pm in Ledford Hall (it's free!) to raise awareness about eating disorders in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). 

It's National Compliment Day! : )

I just found out it's National Compliment Day!! Which of course calls for a blog post, right?! Things have been a little busy for me lately... so I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to. BUT, who can pass up National Compliment Day? 


Regardless of when you actually read this post, make sure that you are taking time to tell your loved ones, family members, friends, co-workers, the person bagging your groceries, your mailman, etc. what you appreciate about them! It never hurts to hear :) A little positive affirmation can go a long way! And, you just never know what a kind word can do for someone.  In that same vein, don't forget to remember the things you like about yourself!! It not only helps to build your confidence, but the way that we think impacts how we feel and how we act. You can start a positive chain reaction simply by having a positive thought!


Soo- Make it your goal to tell at least one person today what you appreciate about them! Ready... go! 

What Will You Gain This Year??

On my way to work the other day, I heard a radio advertisement that started out with a woman saying something like- "This year, I don't want to lose weight." That got my attention pretty fast!! ... You don't hear that very often, especially around this time of the year! Out of curiosity I kept listening and the ad continued on, while the actress re-stated the same objective (not wanting to lose weight)-- just in different ways. Then she said, "This year, I will gain ten fingers, and ten toes." I was a little taken aback by that, but once I realized that this was an ad for a local fertility/reproductive center at a local hospital I laughed and understood!! I think what I liked about this ad was that it focused not on losing something about ourselves in the New Year but on gaining or adding something to ourselves in the New Year. And I don't mean weight!! 

I think at this time of the year ("diet season") when it's so easy to get caught up in the latest diet fads, celebrity 'diet tricks and secrets', resolutions to drop X number of pounds...  it's helpful to consider instead what we might GAIN in this new year. Now, again... I am not talking about weight in all of this. :) What I am talking about is what we might add to our lives, what we might gain in experiences, perspective, knowledge, faith, love, etc.. Consider 2011 as an opportunity to grow, to do new things, to add meaning to your life in new ways. Rather than having resolutions or goals that reinforce unhealthy beliefs or behaviors, think about putting your energy into positive things that will enrich your life and will enable you to pursue your dreams and aspirations. Growing in health might certainly be one of those goals, and that is fantastic. Remember above all what it means to be healthy!! Health is more than just a physical state, it is a mental, emotional, and spiritual state as well. Be mindful and aware of your goals and how you approach them- Are your goals adding something beneficial to your life? Are you growing in knowledge of yourself and others?  Do you have any accountability or support in your life to help you pursue your goals and dreams? Maybe those are some questions for us all to think about as we move towards our goals this year... ! Happy 2011 everyone! : )

Giving Thanks for 2010

While I'm not so much into New Years Resolutions, I am definitely into the excitement of new beginnings and fresh starts... as well as the hope that accompanies a New Year.. hope for the exciting, challenging, life-giving experiences and events that are to come. At this time of the year, I think we can get so caught up in making goals for the new year (in addition to thinking about the goals that we maybe didn't reach or achieve from this past year)... that I think sometimes we forget to look back and consider all of the things that we have experienced and learned. In this spirit of remembrance and gratitude (and nostalgia!!), I wanted to take a minute to give thanks for a few meaningful things and experiences that occurred in my life this last year. And I would encourage you to do the same as you look both behind and ahead!!

My Office, North Raleigh !!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I LOVE (therapy!), to have an office that I love (that's my office on the left!), and to share office space with a friend I love. As if that weren't enough, a new Whole Foods is opening in just a month right across the street from my office.. I sure have a lot to be thankful for :). 


Of course, it doesn't mean that the transition into having my own practice this year has been without its bumps, but I have SO enjoyed being out on my own, I have learned so much professionally and personally, and truly could not be happier. Sometimes big changes can be daunting... Ray Bradbury's quote about courage often comes to mind.. that sometimes when you leap off a cliff you have to learn to build your wings on the way down. I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have had to build my wings these last few years and for the awesome people in my life who have helped me to develop these wings so that I could float and fly this year when I needed to...

I am also so encouraged and energized by the people that I work with each day, and learn so much about life and the human condition from each person that I meet. I am thankful that people let me into their lives and are willing to share their hearts, their struggles and their fears, including those of you who read my blog. Thanks for reading, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with me as well. 

I have to say that I am also thankful for new experiences that I have had this year, visiting and seeing new places, 'making new friends and keeping the old', and for all of the chances I have had to grow, change, learn and love. I am excited to see what 2011 brings. I am confident that this next year will usher in both challenges and opportunities, both of which I look forward to...  

I took this picture while I was sailing in Maui in July... !

   

On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. While I typically blog about eating disorders, body image and beauty, I sometimes like to take a minute to write about other things that are on my heart! And today, this is one of them.

Last night, I was talking to one of my best friends who lives in Chicago... we don't always have the best luck connecting via phone (she is a resident who works nights sometimes- think Grey's Anatomy) but when we do, we usually laugh a lot and have really good conversations about our lives. We share a passion for Africa, and she introduced me to vanilla chai (my favorite) at the first Student Global AIDS Campaign meeting we went to in college- thanks, Ali:). She is currently an OBGYN resident at Northwestern- and is one of the smartest, funnest girls I know. Well this past year, through a series of chaotic circumstances one night at work, she ended up getting stuck with an HIV infected needle. I was scared when she asked me to pray for her, but thankfully, the risk of contracting HIV this way is very low. Still, as small as the risk was, there was still a chance that she could be HIV positive... and that was scary! After several tests (and weeks of anti-retroviral drugs), her results came back negative. I was and still am so thankful that she is ok! (So is her husband!:))

In light of it being World AIDS Day, I was thinking about how lucky she was to have access to ARV drugs. These drugs are expensive and not everyone has access to them. The theme this year for World AIDS Day 2010 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights.' Human rights violations (sex trade and trafficking) fuel the incidence of HIV. The focus this year is on protecting human rights while also working to provide better prevention efforts globally as a means of cutting the occurrence of transmission. Take some time today to think about your health, your body, your rights as a person, and consider how you might help someone who isn't as fortunate to have what you do. To learn more about World AIDS Day, and ways that you can get involved, follow this link.

Fat Talk Free Week is Here!

Fat Talk Free Week is happening this week. What does this mean?? Well, if you scroll down, the last few posts that I have written have been geared towards Fat Talk Free Week! This is a week set aside each year by Delta Delta Delta to raise awareness and promote healthy body image. The idea is that by making an intentional focus throughout the week not to 'fat talk' we might encourage ourselves and each other to think more positively, have a better self image, and not put a negative focus on our bodies.

So, what exactly is 'fat talk'???

"My butt looks huge!"

"My jeans are too tight!"

"You look really good, have you lost weight?"

"I look so gross today."

"I need to work out double today since I ate that piece of cake yesterday."

"I wish I could wear a size (---)"

"I need to lose 10 lbs."

These are just a few examples-- I am sure you can think of others that you say or have heard others say. I think we are pretty desensitized to 'fat talk' and for that reason, I think just becoming more aware of its presence and trying to eliminate it could bring about a huge and positive change- not just for us but for those around us too. Consider how your words have an impact on others-- when we say these disparaging remarks about ourselves in the presence of others, we are not just shaming ourselves- we are shaming others! It is difficult not to influence others when we speak negatively about our bodies or choices with food or the size of our jeans- so even if it is just out of respect for others, be kind to yourself! Try it this week and see how it feels! : )

Video Encouragement : )

I am currently working on a presentation for Monday that I am giving on body image to women at a local college, and I am so excited. I have been preparing a multimedia presentation, and although I may have shared this video awhile ago, I want to share it again. Everytime that I watch it, I am moved by how powerful it is to hear different women share their feelings about their bodies. I think I watched it three times yesterday as I was compiling everything for my presentation!!

This video is compliments of The Body Image Project. Take a look and pass it on to your friends who might appreciate it. Not only is it one way to brighten your day, but you may brighten someone else's day by encouraging them to accept and celebrate who they are :)

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.

Love Your Friends!!

September happens to be National Women's Friendship Month. I personally believe every month should be National Women's Friendship Month because a girl needs her friends all the time!!! But maybe the idea of taking a month to recognize the importance of friendship is a good reminder for all of us girls (well, and boys too!) to be thankful for the friends in our lives who have been there for us-- and with us-- through the ups and downs! I know that I am SO thankful for all of my friends, especially my very best friends! Even though some of them might live far away from me geographically (like the ones pictured above and below that were taken this summer-love you girls!), they are closer than ever in my heart. (Awwww! So cheesy!)

I think that the whole topic of friendship is especially relevant as it relates to body image and eating disorders. You might be wondering how!! Well, I believe that we were created to be in community with people, and sometimes, having poor body image and/or an eating disorder can interfere and take us out of community with others. Perhaps you might withdraw socially because you don't want people to know how you are really doing, you don't want people to notice your disordered habits or unhealthy attitudes--avoiding and isolating can become pretty standard. If we are pursuing lives of health, it is so critical to have friends and loved ones around us for support!! We need to have people in our lives who are willing to listen, and willing to be there for us when we struggle- whether it involves food, body image, family, marriage, work, friendships, relationships, etc! But friendship is about more than just the struggles- it is also about celebrating each other's successes and encouraging us to grow and develop into the women that we want to be! These friendships can certainly be few and far between, but what they lack in number they more than make up for in fullness!!

Remind those friends today that they mean something special to you, that they are loved and that you are thankful for them! Love to all of my friends!!