Accentuate the Positive

I may or not have just spent the last ...ohhh 10 minutes googling the phrase 'Accentuate the Positive+ Disney movie' .... And apparently, I'm not the only person who has performed this google search!! It appears that a lot of other people have Asked Jeeves and ChaCha the same thing, and haven't been able to get a straight answer. I am so confused right now. Haha. Anyways, the point is that I have had this song stuck in my head for a few weeks, and the best I could come up with is this video below of Bette Midler and Bing Crosby singing this song together. It is just sooo bizarre to me because I have never heard them sing this song in my life (to my knowledge). I have no clue why, how or where this song popped into my head. I am absolutely convinced that it was played in some movie I watched when I was a kid.. the closest thing to it that I could think of was 'Bare Necessities' which was in the Jungle Book, but that is not it.  






Anyways, tangent! The purpose of me bringing this song up in the first place has to do with the power of positive thinking-- and talking. Let me clarify though because I am not really referring to the kind of positive thinking that 'The Secret'  promotes... that putting positive energy out into the universe yields positive events, etc. I'm just talking about plain old positivity. How often have you been around someone that is cheerful, positive, friendly and genuinely complimentary of people, and just felt really good after spending time being around that person? Likewise, have you ever been around someone who is negative or critical of themselves or others, and always has a negative comment about something? How does it make you feel?

Over the past few months, I have become really aware of the power and influence that people have to either build you up and make you feel good and positive (not just about yourself but about life in general), or uncomfortable, insecure, and/or self-critical. This relates to body image in that when we fat talk ["my butt is huge", "i can't believe i ate that", "i feel soo fat right now", "that person is so skinny, i'm jealous", "i'll never have the body i want", "that girl's body is perfect", etc..], we are automatically influencing and impacting the people that are around us, whether we intend it or not. While we may just be thinking of ourselves when we make such comments, we are putting others in a position to consider those same questions or concerns that are usually unhealthy and unproductive. It's okay to have a vent session sometimes, no one is perfect of course, but even if for the sake of others, consider the words that come out of your mouth! I think it is awesome that we can use our words to build people up. Pointing out the positive things in any given situation, voicing good traits about people instead of annoying ones :-), noticing beauty of all kinds, being able to appreciate it and include others in it... These are all ways that one person can make a difference. Try it!

On 'Health'

In going along with my new theme of 'compassion' (see this post for more), I really really want to address the comments that Rush Limbaugh made on Monday about Michelle Obama. I just heard about this-- and am thankful for an opportunity to work on being compassionate:-). For those of you who haven't heard (I almost hate to tell you), but on his radio show on February 21st, Limbaugh made some pretty inflammatory comments about the First Lady. As you may know, she has worked very hard on initiating a campaign to fight childhood obesity. There have certainly been mixed feelings from the eating disorder community concerning her approach, but nonetheless, she ended up adding eating disorders under the campaign's umbrella and is (hopefully) working to address eating disorders as well.

Anyways, from what I understand, Michelle O. was vacationing at a ski resort recently with her family, and it was made known that she enjoyed a nice dinner while she was there, which included ribs. Limbaugh's comments: "The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. We hear that she's out eating ribs at XXXX calories a serving with XXX grams of fat per serving. I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you." He went on to say, "She's a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to be leaders. If we're supposed to eat roots and berries and tree bark, show us how." Yikes!!!

While I am really sad that he made these comments, and would like to respond with some choice words, I think this is a great opportunity to address an important issue! Perhaps this whole exchange once again highlights the fact that we really struggle with extremes in our society. Black and white thinking, the 'diet mentality' .... call it what you want. But seriously-- who decided that you can't be healthy and eat ribs at dinner when you're on vacation (or not on vacation)? Being truly healthy requires moderation and balance. Simply eating "roots, berries and tree bark" would be just as much of a problem as if we all ate ribs for every meal.

Another thing I want to challenge is the assumption that looking like a swimsuit model is the picture of health. I could be wrong here, but it sounds like Limbaugh is saying that Mrs. Obama should look like a model. You cannot tell how healthy someone is simply by looking at them. Of course in extreme cases, yes- you can see with your eyes when someone might be ill (very underweight or very overweight). But people who may look fit, toned or 'in shape', thin, those who look average and healthy, ... they may have heart problems, blood pressure problems, bone density issues, etc due to unhealthy behaviors (diet pills, over exercise, steroids, purging, etc)... You never know how someone is treating their body and you never really know how healthy someone is just by looking at them. To infer that Michelle Obama needs to look like a swimsuit model in order to prove that she is following her own dietary advice is almost kind of funny because it is just so not true. The suggestion that swimsuit models or girls that A-Rod dates are the barometer of health is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why women in our culture struggle so much with knowing what it is to be truly healthy, not to mention why they have a tough time believing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Most people (95% of the population in fact) could be healthy, balanced eaters and no matter what, will not ever have bodies that look like models. 5% of the population has a body type in nature that resembles that of a model.  And then there is airbrushing...  many of the models and images that we see are not even real. The point is- we aren't all made the same and we all have different body types, bone structures, etc. It is irresponsible to perpetuate the myth that 'health' looks one way, but it is also irresponsible for us to buy into it.

This post is getting lengthy- so I will conclude by encouraging you to think about what true health is and where you came up with your beliefs about what it is to be healthy. 'Health' is a loaded word. Limbaugh's assertions about health are clearly skewed, but remind all of us that we need to take a step back and consider what true health really looks like. Are extremes a measure of health?? How do you know if you are being truly balanced in your approach with food? These are important questions to consider.

Body Image Role Models...

There have been a lot of articles, blog posts, etc. circulating this week on behalf of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). I read one in particular today that I wanted to share. It is awesome. Dara Chadwick, an author and blogger ("You'd Be So Pretty If...") often writes about her experiences navigating through body image issues as the mother of a small daughter. In her post, she was addressing the issue about whether or not mothers can be body image role models for their daughters if they have body hang-ups of their own. The cool thing about her post is that having children or daughters does not make this post any more or less relevant. I think this is an important question for all of us!! How do we model positive body image to friends, family members, etc, if we sometimes have those days when we don't exactly feel so hot?? What does it mean to have a healthy body image? I love this post. Check it out below-


This past week, I did a reading and body image talk at a local library. I love talking to small gatherings because they often turn into interesting and thought-provoking discussions, and I adore the energy of a great exchange of ideas.

During our discussion, one participant -- who runs a program for teen girls through an area women's resource center -- mentioned that she often struggles with talking to "her girls" about body image because she herself doesn't always feel good about her body. It's a question I hear from moms time and again (and one that inspired the subtitle of You'd Be So Pretty If...) -- how can I raise a daughter who feels good about her body when I don't feel good about my own?

I understand that feeling. Believe me, on days when I look in the mirror and find myself displeased with the image that greets me, I feel like a hypocrite. What kind of body image role model am I if I can't accept myself as I am, always?

But as I thought more about that very question, I came to this conclusion: I'm a good body image role model. To borrow a theme from Oprah, what I know for sure from all my thinking, writing and talking about body image is that perfection doesn't exist, including being the perfect role model. There's no finish line in the body image race -- no point at which we can say, "That's it. I'm done." Self-acceptance is a process, and the reality is that we'll be better at it on some days than others.

Here's what I can say with clarity: Awareness is key. Being aware of -- and owning -- the ways that we disparage, belittle, sabotage and beat up on ourselves is the first step in building a healthier body image. Negative thoughts might creep in from time to time, but I can stop, acknowledge them and re-direct my thinking. In doing so, I build my capacity for breaking the cycle of negative thinking and for re-framing my thoughts in a more positive way. And, in time, positive thinking builds on itself and changes the way we see and talk about ourselves.

Making that choice every day, and teaching others that they can make a similar choice, is at the heart of being a good body image role model.

So, no, you don't have to never have a negative thought or love everything about the way you look to set a great example. You just have to be willing to challenge what you think you see.

Here's to all the body image role models out there.

In other news, I am looking forward to hearing my friend and colleague Ellen Morrison speak tonight at Meredith College on "How to Help Others With Eating Disorders." If you are in Raleigh, come on out- she is speaking at 7pm in Ledford Hall (it's free!) to raise awareness about eating disorders in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). 

What Will You Gain This Year??

On my way to work the other day, I heard a radio advertisement that started out with a woman saying something like- "This year, I don't want to lose weight." That got my attention pretty fast!! ... You don't hear that very often, especially around this time of the year! Out of curiosity I kept listening and the ad continued on, while the actress re-stated the same objective (not wanting to lose weight)-- just in different ways. Then she said, "This year, I will gain ten fingers, and ten toes." I was a little taken aback by that, but once I realized that this was an ad for a local fertility/reproductive center at a local hospital I laughed and understood!! I think what I liked about this ad was that it focused not on losing something about ourselves in the New Year but on gaining or adding something to ourselves in the New Year. And I don't mean weight!! 

I think at this time of the year ("diet season") when it's so easy to get caught up in the latest diet fads, celebrity 'diet tricks and secrets', resolutions to drop X number of pounds...  it's helpful to consider instead what we might GAIN in this new year. Now, again... I am not talking about weight in all of this. :) What I am talking about is what we might add to our lives, what we might gain in experiences, perspective, knowledge, faith, love, etc.. Consider 2011 as an opportunity to grow, to do new things, to add meaning to your life in new ways. Rather than having resolutions or goals that reinforce unhealthy beliefs or behaviors, think about putting your energy into positive things that will enrich your life and will enable you to pursue your dreams and aspirations. Growing in health might certainly be one of those goals, and that is fantastic. Remember above all what it means to be healthy!! Health is more than just a physical state, it is a mental, emotional, and spiritual state as well. Be mindful and aware of your goals and how you approach them- Are your goals adding something beneficial to your life? Are you growing in knowledge of yourself and others?  Do you have any accountability or support in your life to help you pursue your goals and dreams? Maybe those are some questions for us all to think about as we move towards our goals this year... ! Happy 2011 everyone! : )

Giving Thanks for 2010

While I'm not so much into New Years Resolutions, I am definitely into the excitement of new beginnings and fresh starts... as well as the hope that accompanies a New Year.. hope for the exciting, challenging, life-giving experiences and events that are to come. At this time of the year, I think we can get so caught up in making goals for the new year (in addition to thinking about the goals that we maybe didn't reach or achieve from this past year)... that I think sometimes we forget to look back and consider all of the things that we have experienced and learned. In this spirit of remembrance and gratitude (and nostalgia!!), I wanted to take a minute to give thanks for a few meaningful things and experiences that occurred in my life this last year. And I would encourage you to do the same as you look both behind and ahead!!

My Office, North Raleigh !!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I LOVE (therapy!), to have an office that I love (that's my office on the left!), and to share office space with a friend I love. As if that weren't enough, a new Whole Foods is opening in just a month right across the street from my office.. I sure have a lot to be thankful for :). 


Of course, it doesn't mean that the transition into having my own practice this year has been without its bumps, but I have SO enjoyed being out on my own, I have learned so much professionally and personally, and truly could not be happier. Sometimes big changes can be daunting... Ray Bradbury's quote about courage often comes to mind.. that sometimes when you leap off a cliff you have to learn to build your wings on the way down. I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have had to build my wings these last few years and for the awesome people in my life who have helped me to develop these wings so that I could float and fly this year when I needed to...

I am also so encouraged and energized by the people that I work with each day, and learn so much about life and the human condition from each person that I meet. I am thankful that people let me into their lives and are willing to share their hearts, their struggles and their fears, including those of you who read my blog. Thanks for reading, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with me as well. 

I have to say that I am also thankful for new experiences that I have had this year, visiting and seeing new places, 'making new friends and keeping the old', and for all of the chances I have had to grow, change, learn and love. I am excited to see what 2011 brings. I am confident that this next year will usher in both challenges and opportunities, both of which I look forward to...  

I took this picture while I was sailing in Maui in July... !

   

Helpful Hints for the Holidays...

I came across this creative acronym below ('happy holidays') on a site called 'Something Fishy'-- a resource for eating disorder information, as well as referral sources for treatment care providers. Anyways, Sharon Sward is the one who created this acronym, and it is a little tool that serves to remind us of some helpful things during a season in which food can be a central part of celebrations, and consequently can cause anxiety, discomfort, urges and triggering thoughts and feelings. Check it out below... 

Hunger means you eat when physically hungry instead of emotionally hungry.

Attitudes about your size have to do with the size of your heart instead of the size of your body.

People accept and value you for who you are, not according to how you look.

Problems are resolved in ways other than stuffing your feelings with food.

You spend as much time and energy on helping others as you do on how you look.

Happiness comes from within rather than from expectations of others.

Occasions for the holidays emphasize relating to others instead of emphasizing food.

Love of self means you deserve to treat yourself in the best humanly possible way.

Identity of self involves more than how you look.

Disapproval of self is changed to approval of who you are.

Acceptance of what one can not change includes your body features.

You treat yourself as you treat your best friend.

Society values you for being you without emphasis to your weight or size.

by: Sharon Sward, President of Eating Disorder Professionals of Colorado

Author of You Are More Than What You Weigh

Radio Talk Show Host on self-esteem, weight, and eating disorders

Jenifer Ringer: A Body Image Role Model for the Holidays

One of my favorite Christmas traditions growing up?? Going to see the Nutcracker Ballet. I was pretty involved in ballet until the 7th grade, so it made the ballet even that much more meaningful and special to me. I have to say it's been a few years since I've gone- I think the last time I went I saw a very 'interesting' production at the Raleigh Memorial Theatre that featured a more modern interpretation and ballet style. Because I have such positive and warm memories surrounding the Nutcracker, it was even more sad to hear about what happened recently- that something so festive and beautiful could turn into an opportunity for criticism and ignorance. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, there was a pretty big controversy recently over some comments that dance critic Alistair Macaulay from the NY Times wrote about Jenifer Ringer, the ballerina playing the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in the New York City Ballet's production of the Nutcracker. His critical comments were focused on her weight, which is bad enough- but she has been open about her struggles with anorexia and disordered eating in the past, which seemed to make this critique even more upsetting, disappointing, and irresponsible. Ringer was interviewed on the Today Show by Ann Curry, and I was extremely moved by how strong, gracious, articulate and healthy she was in communicating about the whole thing! This clip below is the segment that was featured- it provides the backstory as to what actually happened, and also includes the interview with Ringer. In total it is about 7 minutes, and I would really encourage you to watch it. (I have watched it a few times!!) She does a fabulous job of articulating that being a dancer did not cause her eating disorder (she busted an ED myth!) and around the 6:40 mark she has some very encouraging words for us about our bodies. Check it out below.

On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

On Giving Thanks...

I can't even believe it is this time of year again... Thanksgiving!! Time flies!! In light of Thanksgiving being very much a 'food' holiday (something that can be anxiety provoking for those who struggle with food), one thing that I think can be helpful is to go back to the basics of what Thanksgiving is truly about! Soo, I asked cha cha where Thanksgiving originated (just kidding!!). No but really, Thanksgiving marks a time when the pilgrims voyaged to America. After a tough year, in which more than a third of those who had come over on the Mayflower died, there had been a very plentiful harvest and so, they commemorated their blessings with a feast. I think along the way, Thanksgiving took on some cultural adaptations- you know, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving:), but specifically the kinds of food that we consider to be traditional Thanksgiving food (the pilgrims ate more of a traditional English meal).

Anyways, the point is that the pilgrims were celebrating their blessings after a tough year. And while all of us have had different kinds of years- some good, some tough, some both- I think that no matter what our days, weeks, months and year have been like, it is good to set aside time to be thankful!! There is always something to be thankful for : ) This year has been a year of change for me with going out on my own in private practice. And I am so thankful for all that this change and this year have brought. I am thankful for health, family, a job that I love, and people in my life that I love. I am thankful that I woke up this morning, I am thankful that there is a roof over my head, I am thankful that my body functions as it was created to. I am thankful for Peace that surpasses all understanding, I am thankful for sunshine, I am thankful for the hope that I have in days to come. : )

What are you thankful for this year??

How Far Does the Thin Ideal Extend??

According to a recent study published, preschool aged girls- as young as 3!!- indicate a preference towards thinness. How is that even possible??! I was actually skeptical when I saw this headline! But as I read this study (here!), it all started sounding way too believable. I obviously get that media has an impact upon how we define beauty, and I also am all too familiar with the ways in which modeling can influence us. I'm not talking about supermodels walking the runway... but about behaviors and attitudes that we pick up on by observing those around us. Anyways, in this study, the researchers tried to determine the childrens attitudes about weight by watching them choose game pieces (for board games like Candyland- my favorite!) that they had specifically constructed- a thin girl, an average girl, and an overweight girl. They watched the girls choose the pieces and interact with them, and asked them about the pieces as well. While it is very difficult to study body issues and perceptions in 3 year olds, there were some pretty strong reactions among the children to the game pieces. Some of them were very reluctant to play the game using the overweight girl game piece, and the majority would have rather been the average girl if they could not be the thin girl. To read more of the findings regarding the study, follow the link above- or here!

So what can we do in the face of some discouraging news about innocent little girls picking up on the thin ideal at the age of 3 years old?! Well, I think that regardless of whether or not we have children, nieces/nephews, interact with children daily, etc.. there are things that we can do. First, emphasize health over weight. Helping children (and ourselves, really!) to place the focus on our bodies being strong and able to engage in activities that we enjoy takes the focus off of a number. Second, avoid fat talk! What is fat talk?? Anything that reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies. ("I look SO fat in this!" "Oh, wow, you look great, have you lost weight?" "I need to lose ten pounds" "She's too fat to be wearing that") I have written a lot about fat talk before- check out this link or this one for more info! Lastly, if you do have children or if you are ever around kids, encourage and affirm them for who they are- their personalities, their character traits, positive things that they have done, their interests- rather than how they look! This extends to us grown-ups as well:) I think that if we can start to redefine beauty (and the thin ideal) by focusing on beauty as more than just our looks (by focusing on our hearts, our minds, our faith), then we might begin to know our true worth and value.

Fat Talk Free Week is Here!

Fat Talk Free Week is happening this week. What does this mean?? Well, if you scroll down, the last few posts that I have written have been geared towards Fat Talk Free Week! This is a week set aside each year by Delta Delta Delta to raise awareness and promote healthy body image. The idea is that by making an intentional focus throughout the week not to 'fat talk' we might encourage ourselves and each other to think more positively, have a better self image, and not put a negative focus on our bodies.

So, what exactly is 'fat talk'???

"My butt looks huge!"

"My jeans are too tight!"

"You look really good, have you lost weight?"

"I look so gross today."

"I need to work out double today since I ate that piece of cake yesterday."

"I wish I could wear a size (---)"

"I need to lose 10 lbs."

These are just a few examples-- I am sure you can think of others that you say or have heard others say. I think we are pretty desensitized to 'fat talk' and for that reason, I think just becoming more aware of its presence and trying to eliminate it could bring about a huge and positive change- not just for us but for those around us too. Consider how your words have an impact on others-- when we say these disparaging remarks about ourselves in the presence of others, we are not just shaming ourselves- we are shaming others! It is difficult not to influence others when we speak negatively about our bodies or choices with food or the size of our jeans- so even if it is just out of respect for others, be kind to yourself! Try it this week and see how it feels! : )

In honor of Fat Talk Free Week coming up (it starts Monday!), I wanted to point you to a few great reads that have been published online in the last few days. The first is an article that I just read-- a very empowering and bold interview given by plus size model and winner of America's Next Top Model cycle 10, Whitney Thompson. She is very outspoken about her role in the modeling industry as a voice of change and as one promoting healthy body image. In fact, she is an ambassador (aka- spokesperson) for the National Eating Disorders Association, NEDA. It is def worth checking out; Sunny Gold's article and interview with Whitney can be found by following this link to the Huffington Post (what else?!).

The other article is one that was just published in Newsweek and has been getting a lot of attention. Newsweek wrote an article mentioning Fat Talk Free Week- a pretty big deal, as far as creating awareness! It's a great article that defines the essence of Fat Talk Free Week. Check it out here. And in the meantime, consider how you can start cutting the fat talk out of your life. Start small! More to come in the next few days!

Feeling Fat?? 7 Tips from Dr. Susan Albers

I have mentioned my love for the Huffington Post several times in posts past. Well, I want to share an article written by the fabulous Dr. Albers that was published on Friday in light of Tri-Delta's Fat Talk Free Week that is approaching (October 18-22). Dr. Albers is known for her work with mindful eating and has written many great books on the topic. In her article, she presents 7 tips to help you deal when you are feeling fat! Follow this link to check it out!

For a brief overview, her 7 tips are below! They are outlined thoroughly in her article, but just wanted to give you an idea of what you will find...

1. Pump up the music. Drown your inner critic with an empowering song!

2. Join Operation Beautiful. (Check out one of my favorite posts on Operation Beautiful- here!)

3. Lose the F-word. (Stop the fat talk- Fat Talk Free Week is approaching- pledge to eliminate this language from your vocabulary!)

4. Outsmart your thoughts.

5. Get cozy. (Wear clothes that make you feel good and that are comfy!)

6. Take a mindful walk.

7. Name it. (Fat isn't a feeling... so what are you feeling?)

Mean Girls, Fat Talk and A Video Contest!

Mean Girls was- and still is- a classic movie about high school, popularity, and being true to yourself. It makes me laugh every time I watch it (mostly out of disbelief) because of the way it depicts the social strata of high school. I will say that one thing Mean Girls does a great job of is humorously exposing some of the hideous ways that us girls treat each other, as well as the ways that we talk about ourselves and one another. I remember at my high school, we had our own version of 'the plastics' but they called themselves 'the six pack.' Gross! Anyways, one scene that really stands out to me takes place in Regina George's bedroom, where all four 'mean girls' are hanging out. They end up in front of the mirror, picking themselves apart and engaging in negative talk about their bodies. Cady, the new girl in the group, doesn't understand why they are talking so badly about themselves. The following is the dialogue that takes place in front of the mirror:

"My hips are huge."

"Oh please, I hate my calves."

"At least you can wear halters, I have man shoulders."

"My hairline is so weird."

"My pores are huge."

"My nail beds suck."

Now, let's face it. We all have moments where we may not feel our best, but ladies, this kind of talk, also known as 'fat talk' needs to stop! It is sad that we can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. So, what is fat talk and why do we need to cut it out?? According to the Reflections: Body Image Program, "Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”." Fat talk reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies, and also has a negative impact on others as well!

So what can we do about this?! Well, there is a very unique way for you to get involved, share your voice, and help to impact change!! Fat Talk Free Week, put on annually by Tri-Delta and the Reflections: Body Image Program, will be starting soon-- on October 18-22! I will be posting more on this as the time draws closer, but wanted to alert you all of a great opportunity! This year, there is a video contest. Make a short video to show what you are doing to end 'fat talk' and upload it to the official End Fat Talk facebook fan page (here). Video submissions are due by Wednesday, October 20. Once uploaded, friends and family can vote for your video and one lucky winner will take home a $1000 gift card to Best Buy! This video campaign is a great way to promote positive body talk and to impact change!!

Below is a powerful video that was made to inspire change, as well as to promote Fat Talk Free Week. Consider participating in the video contest this year. And if you aren't feeling compelled to submit a video, that's okay!! But think about how else you might be able to get involved this year to help reduce and eliminate fat talk- whether it starts with you, in your own mind and conversations, or in conversations you have with others. One person can make a difference.

A History of Our Bodies and Beauty

One thing I have been thinking about lately is trends. They come and go, but while a trend is hot, a majority of people (not everyone, but a lot of people) follow whatever is popular- whether it be a clothing style, accessories (silly bandz anyone?), music, a book or author, electronics, etc. Just an FYI- I'm not knocking on following trends, because let's face it, I'm blogging :)

But as I have been thinking about trends, one thing that has really hit home is the way that 'beauty' and our bodies have been subjected to trends over time. For example, in the early 1900's, Victorian women wore corsets (pictured to the left) in order to make their waists appear smaller for the expressed purpose of accentuating their hips and butt, and to give them the illusion of being rounder and fuller. 20 years later, flapper girls were binding their breasts and working to achieve a boyish figure, thin and straight. 30 years later in the 1950's, Marilyn Monroe was THE icon of beauty. It surprises many people that she was a size 16. She had curves, and her body was the ideal.

It is important to note, as an aside, that throughout the shifts in trends with bodies and beauty, most of us women have tried hard to emulate them, no matter how radical the shift. Case in point, only 10 years later, Twiggy, the super skinny model (hence the name Twiggy) was all the rage and people wanted to look just like her! While thinness and weight loss have continued to be trends since that time, the 1980's were a time in which being fit and toned was considered ideal (Jane Fonda anyone?). When the 1990's rolled around, Baywatch Babe Pamela Anderson was a global icon- she was skinny with huge boobs, which became a major trend in the 90's. If you look around now, the majority of these 'looks' or 'ideals' seem to be outdated, meaning they are no longer in style. How do our bodies and beauty go out of style?

One thing that I have been thinking about is the sheer absurdity of our natural bodies (and how we define beauty) as being defined by trends. Surely, fashions change, and how we wear our makeup and clothes, etc, will change. But I think that we must learn to accept our bodies as they are, and celebrate them as they are because otherwise, we will have a relationship with our bodies that forces us to adapt and change with the trends, meaning we are never able to accept ourselves as we are. The only way for us to feel beautiful is to change ourselves. When the trends begin to change, we must change in order to accept and like ourselves and our bodies. That just seems backwards. It doesn't mean that we all don't ever play into the dynamic of trends, but I think that in considering the history of beauty and our bodies, we may see that beauty is something that goes way deeper, and cannot be defined by trends. If the ideal of beauty is changing every 10, 20, 30 years, maybe we should at least consider defining beauty in ways that don't change. It might help us be more confident, it might help us to accept ourselves and consequently, really love who we are! Think about it, and see what you come up with. Would love to hear your thoughts!

**(History/facts taken from thesite.org)

Body Gossip

There is a very cool body image campaign going on in the UK called Body Gossip. I love the name. This movement is all about encouraging real people to share real stories about their bodies and struggles with body image because "realistic beauty needs celebrating and supporting." They have enlisted celebrity actors and actresses to re-tell stories that people write in and share, and then they film them and make these videos and films available for people to watch! This is something that is happening in the UK, but what a great idea. While I think it would be more powerful for the individuals themselves to share, rather than having celebrities share the stories, I also think it is protective in nature for the individuals whose stories are being shared.

Below is one of the videos that Body Gossip has made- its called 'This One is For You' and it consists of people talking back to the eating disorder identity that can so often be consuming. I think it ends especially powerfully and I encourage you all to check it out.

Project Heal, which I have written about before (here and here) is launching a video project that is accepting one minute videos from anyone who has something to say about healthy body image, struggles with body image, what makes you beautiful, etc. If you are interested in submitting a video and you have questions, you can contact ProjectHeal.ed@gmail.com!

Update: Another Pro-Ana Slogan, Snack Factory?! Really?

If you didn't get a chance to check out my last post, scroll down and check it out... The Snack Factory, a company based out of San Francisco that makes different snack foods, recently began an ad campaign for their pretzel thin pretzel snacks by using a pro-anorexic advertisement. As you can see from the ad that is pictured in the post below (or you can click here to view it), this was a very offensive ad and the Snack Factory agreed to take it down. Well, believe it or not, this image to the left is what they replaced it with... "Tastes as good as skinny feels." Umm.... Hello!!! How is this any better than the previous one?? Are they just really that clueless or do they not care what the ad communicates?

I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are just really ignorant- but I think this again just highlights the need for a) more education and information to the general public about eating disorders and b) the need for continued advocacy and awareness being raised which may eventually help to change things like this that we see and encounter from day to day. It doesn't mean grand gestures. Maybe it means reading up on eating disorders (follow this link for great info on the NEDA site), encouraging your friends (and yourself!) to avoid fat talk, or maybe you point out myths about eating disorders when you have the opportunity! No matter what you do, there is nothing too small to help raise awareness. Every little bit counts.

I'm not sure if these ads are still up; I have not been able to find anything more on whether the Snack Factory pulled them or not. Hopefully they did. Please feel free to contact them and tell you how you feel about their ads if you are so inclined. Here is the link to their website and contact info!

Think Before You Advertise

Just a few weeks/months ago, there was controversy surrounding a t-shirt that Urban Outfitters was selling on their website and in stores. It said "Eat Less." [I wrote a post about it that you can check out here.] Since then, the shirt has been pulled from stores as well as from the UO website. It just boggles my mind when a company endorses an idea like this- it really makes me wonder who signed off on this, thinking it was a good idea!!

Well, the Snack Factory, a snack company based out of San Francisco, is marketing their new pretzel thin pretzel snacks and has stirred up quite a controversy over their choice of creative advertising. The picture above is the ad, and while I try to avoid using triggering images, I thought that this image was relatively safe- and important to show! So, here is the Snack Factory's idea of clever advertising. Too bad their advertising campaign comes at the expense of millions of young women and men who struggle with this very lie that 'you can never be too thin'. In response, people in New York City have been covering these ads with pictures of emaciated women, and the phrase, "Actually, you can [be too thin]." The Snack Factory responded to complaints via Twitter by saying that they are "using the word ‘thin’ in a creative way to describe our product," and that people "seem to be interpreting it in their own way... we're a thin pretzel cracker!"

I get that they thought they were being cute and creative, but that does not make it appropriate or okay. When you choose to promote a pro-eating disorder belief as your advertising campaign, you have to take responsibility for it. Thankfully, the VP of marketing for the Snack Factory has heard the public outrage and is responding by pulling the pictures and ads. This is another reminder that speaking out makes a difference, and that we can truly make an impact! This is also a good reminder that more education about eating disorders is needed, and that we need to continue to bust the myths about eating disorders so things like this will become less frequent.

One Woman's Thoughts on Barbie...

I grew up playing with Barbies- cutting their hair, putting real make-up on them, and dressing them up in all kinds of crazy outfits. I actually used to force my brother to play Barbies with me sometimes when we were little and we would argue over who got to drive the Barbie corvette or the Barbie volvo- sorry Jonathan to out you like this. I was a bossy kid and I didn't like playing Barbies by myself! : ) Because of my history of playing with Barbies as a kid, I wouldn't say that I am a hater. But I would by no means say that I am a fan. The sort of global impact that Barbie has had on the self-esteems and body images of women everywhere is not to be overlooked. Let's just take a minute and look at the following facts about Barbie..

Barbie, the best selling fashion doll in the world, has unattainable and unhealthy body proportions. If she were alive, she would be unable to menstruate. Research has shown that very young girls (ages 5-7) who are exposed to Barbie have lower self esteem and want a thinner body than they have.(Dittmar, Halliwell, & Ive, 2006)

While statistics vary depending on which source you use, Barbie's dimensions (if she were alive) would be somewhere around the following- she would be 6 feet tall, 100 lbs., and wearing a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33" and as a result would have to walk on all fours because her body's dimensions would not allow her to stand upright (Statistics taken from Eating Disorders Info and ANRED).

Does playing with Barbies cause eating disorders? No way. If that were the case, we'd all have developed eating disorders. But I believe that the way in which we view our bodies and beauty has probably been shaped by Barbie, a pop cultural icon, in some capacity. Interestingly enough, the story of how Barbie came to be might surprise you. It really surprised me. Dr. Susan Albers who has written some great books on mindful eating wrote a piece in the Huffington Post recently entitled "Why I Don't Hate Barbie Anymore." She shares about the life of Ruth Handler, the woman who created Barbie. Handler, the youngest of her 10 siblings, was raised by her eldest sister. She wanted to make something of herself and be successful in spite of the odds and circumstances stacked against her. Handler found worth, value and self-esteem in her work. She even went on to create prosthetics for breast cancer survivors who had lost their breasts to cancer- sadly, she was one of these women.

This article (as well as the book written about Handler's life) provides some very interesting context and thoughts on Barbie, her legacy and the woman behind the doll, as well as a GREAT message on self-esteem and where we each find our value. I would really encourage you to check it out (here!). Let me be clear- in the words of Dr. Albers- "Barbie's negative symbolism and impact on body image clearly overshadows the rest of this story." I can't do this piece justice in my description of it, so I would encourage you to read it for yourself (here). I know I am always encouraging you all to check out different articles, but if you read just one, read this one! What a great reminder that our value and worth as people come from more than our achievements and 'success.'