Beauty and The Mile High City !!!

Happy Saturday, everyone! It appears that I have taken an unintentional vacation from blogging :). I think it’s been almost two weeks since I’ve posted! A LOT has been going on! I am currently on a plane from Denver to Detroit (hey Eminem!) and will hopefully be back in Raleigh in a few short hours after a quick layover.

This past week, I had an opportunity to visit Eating Recovery Center in Denver on Thursday and Friday. It was an amazing trip and I’m looking forward to sharing more about my time there very soon! I will say… the staff there is beyond excellent. Four of the leading eating disorder doctors in the world work there (this is no joke), and together make up a pretty powerful team. I absolutely loved my time there, love their approach to treating adolescents and adults with eating disorders, and loved my time in Denver. I even got to see one of my oldest friends, Melissa, who lives in Denver- so, so fun.

I did have something I wanted to share real quick, in going along with my last post- ‘Body Beautiful.’ I watched Glee for the first time ever while I was on my way out to Denver Thursday. I’ve been told I’m a little out of the loop since I’ve never seen an episode so I thought I would take advantage of my time cooped up in a plane to catch up. Because I haven’t seen it before, I can’t really tell you much about where I was in the storyline, who the characters are etc.. But it just so happens that I watched an episode about beauty and weight. Funny, huh? :) The cheerleaders were being weighed like wrestlers, and had to ‘make weight’ in order to cheer at a pep rally or something. Well, this one girl started trying to starve herself so she could make weight. At the end, she realized that the whole thing was not worth her health and well-being, after being miserable and having another girl open up and share her own experiences with unhealthy, disordered eating. It was slightly cheesy and there were a few touchy, unfunny jokes about weight/eating disorders, but the overall message was really important and good. Below is a clip from the episode (wish I could find one that wasn't just the song, but -- I just thought it would be fun to post anyways). Check it out- and don't mind the first few seconds of the clip that are in Spanish and advertising a video game or something :).

I’m going to sign off and catch up on a few things, but I’m excited to share more about my trip to Denver soon! Also, don’t forget about the National Eating Disorders Association Walk happening THIS SUNDAY!!! At Meredith College in Raleigh. If you are interested in participating (or are not able to be there but would like to donate to the cause) follow this link. 

On 'Health'

In going along with my new theme of 'compassion' (see this post for more), I really really want to address the comments that Rush Limbaugh made on Monday about Michelle Obama. I just heard about this-- and am thankful for an opportunity to work on being compassionate:-). For those of you who haven't heard (I almost hate to tell you), but on his radio show on February 21st, Limbaugh made some pretty inflammatory comments about the First Lady. As you may know, she has worked very hard on initiating a campaign to fight childhood obesity. There have certainly been mixed feelings from the eating disorder community concerning her approach, but nonetheless, she ended up adding eating disorders under the campaign's umbrella and is (hopefully) working to address eating disorders as well.

Anyways, from what I understand, Michelle O. was vacationing at a ski resort recently with her family, and it was made known that she enjoyed a nice dinner while she was there, which included ribs. Limbaugh's comments: "The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. We hear that she's out eating ribs at XXXX calories a serving with XXX grams of fat per serving. I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you." He went on to say, "She's a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to be leaders. If we're supposed to eat roots and berries and tree bark, show us how." Yikes!!!

While I am really sad that he made these comments, and would like to respond with some choice words, I think this is a great opportunity to address an important issue! Perhaps this whole exchange once again highlights the fact that we really struggle with extremes in our society. Black and white thinking, the 'diet mentality' .... call it what you want. But seriously-- who decided that you can't be healthy and eat ribs at dinner when you're on vacation (or not on vacation)? Being truly healthy requires moderation and balance. Simply eating "roots, berries and tree bark" would be just as much of a problem as if we all ate ribs for every meal.

Another thing I want to challenge is the assumption that looking like a swimsuit model is the picture of health. I could be wrong here, but it sounds like Limbaugh is saying that Mrs. Obama should look like a model. You cannot tell how healthy someone is simply by looking at them. Of course in extreme cases, yes- you can see with your eyes when someone might be ill (very underweight or very overweight). But people who may look fit, toned or 'in shape', thin, those who look average and healthy, ... they may have heart problems, blood pressure problems, bone density issues, etc due to unhealthy behaviors (diet pills, over exercise, steroids, purging, etc)... You never know how someone is treating their body and you never really know how healthy someone is just by looking at them. To infer that Michelle Obama needs to look like a swimsuit model in order to prove that she is following her own dietary advice is almost kind of funny because it is just so not true. The suggestion that swimsuit models or girls that A-Rod dates are the barometer of health is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why women in our culture struggle so much with knowing what it is to be truly healthy, not to mention why they have a tough time believing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Most people (95% of the population in fact) could be healthy, balanced eaters and no matter what, will not ever have bodies that look like models. 5% of the population has a body type in nature that resembles that of a model.  And then there is airbrushing...  many of the models and images that we see are not even real. The point is- we aren't all made the same and we all have different body types, bone structures, etc. It is irresponsible to perpetuate the myth that 'health' looks one way, but it is also irresponsible for us to buy into it.

This post is getting lengthy- so I will conclude by encouraging you to think about what true health is and where you came up with your beliefs about what it is to be healthy. 'Health' is a loaded word. Limbaugh's assertions about health are clearly skewed, but remind all of us that we need to take a step back and consider what true health really looks like. Are extremes a measure of health?? How do you know if you are being truly balanced in your approach with food? These are important questions to consider.

Body Image Role Models...

There have been a lot of articles, blog posts, etc. circulating this week on behalf of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). I read one in particular today that I wanted to share. It is awesome. Dara Chadwick, an author and blogger ("You'd Be So Pretty If...") often writes about her experiences navigating through body image issues as the mother of a small daughter. In her post, she was addressing the issue about whether or not mothers can be body image role models for their daughters if they have body hang-ups of their own. The cool thing about her post is that having children or daughters does not make this post any more or less relevant. I think this is an important question for all of us!! How do we model positive body image to friends, family members, etc, if we sometimes have those days when we don't exactly feel so hot?? What does it mean to have a healthy body image? I love this post. Check it out below-


This past week, I did a reading and body image talk at a local library. I love talking to small gatherings because they often turn into interesting and thought-provoking discussions, and I adore the energy of a great exchange of ideas.

During our discussion, one participant -- who runs a program for teen girls through an area women's resource center -- mentioned that she often struggles with talking to "her girls" about body image because she herself doesn't always feel good about her body. It's a question I hear from moms time and again (and one that inspired the subtitle of You'd Be So Pretty If...) -- how can I raise a daughter who feels good about her body when I don't feel good about my own?

I understand that feeling. Believe me, on days when I look in the mirror and find myself displeased with the image that greets me, I feel like a hypocrite. What kind of body image role model am I if I can't accept myself as I am, always?

But as I thought more about that very question, I came to this conclusion: I'm a good body image role model. To borrow a theme from Oprah, what I know for sure from all my thinking, writing and talking about body image is that perfection doesn't exist, including being the perfect role model. There's no finish line in the body image race -- no point at which we can say, "That's it. I'm done." Self-acceptance is a process, and the reality is that we'll be better at it on some days than others.

Here's what I can say with clarity: Awareness is key. Being aware of -- and owning -- the ways that we disparage, belittle, sabotage and beat up on ourselves is the first step in building a healthier body image. Negative thoughts might creep in from time to time, but I can stop, acknowledge them and re-direct my thinking. In doing so, I build my capacity for breaking the cycle of negative thinking and for re-framing my thoughts in a more positive way. And, in time, positive thinking builds on itself and changes the way we see and talk about ourselves.

Making that choice every day, and teaching others that they can make a similar choice, is at the heart of being a good body image role model.

So, no, you don't have to never have a negative thought or love everything about the way you look to set a great example. You just have to be willing to challenge what you think you see.

Here's to all the body image role models out there.

In other news, I am looking forward to hearing my friend and colleague Ellen Morrison speak tonight at Meredith College on "How to Help Others With Eating Disorders." If you are in Raleigh, come on out- she is speaking at 7pm in Ledford Hall (it's free!) to raise awareness about eating disorders in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). 

On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

On Giving Thanks...

I can't even believe it is this time of year again... Thanksgiving!! Time flies!! In light of Thanksgiving being very much a 'food' holiday (something that can be anxiety provoking for those who struggle with food), one thing that I think can be helpful is to go back to the basics of what Thanksgiving is truly about! Soo, I asked cha cha where Thanksgiving originated (just kidding!!). No but really, Thanksgiving marks a time when the pilgrims voyaged to America. After a tough year, in which more than a third of those who had come over on the Mayflower died, there had been a very plentiful harvest and so, they commemorated their blessings with a feast. I think along the way, Thanksgiving took on some cultural adaptations- you know, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving:), but specifically the kinds of food that we consider to be traditional Thanksgiving food (the pilgrims ate more of a traditional English meal).

Anyways, the point is that the pilgrims were celebrating their blessings after a tough year. And while all of us have had different kinds of years- some good, some tough, some both- I think that no matter what our days, weeks, months and year have been like, it is good to set aside time to be thankful!! There is always something to be thankful for : ) This year has been a year of change for me with going out on my own in private practice. And I am so thankful for all that this change and this year have brought. I am thankful for health, family, a job that I love, and people in my life that I love. I am thankful that I woke up this morning, I am thankful that there is a roof over my head, I am thankful that my body functions as it was created to. I am thankful for Peace that surpasses all understanding, I am thankful for sunshine, I am thankful for the hope that I have in days to come. : )

What are you thankful for this year??

Airbrushing!

One of my favorite teen movies of the 90s?? She's All That. Its been a looong time since I've seen it, but the actress who plays the offbeat lead character, Laney Boggs (her real name is Rachael Leigh Cook and she's pictured to the right with hunky Freddie Prinze Jr- haha) recently made headlines on her views about airbrushing! Get it girl! Here is what she had to say:

“I did not grow up getting told about how manipulated the images we see of women and girls out there are, and I think it’s an absolute travesty that young women are seeing what the media is feeding them… It breaks my heart to be part of an industry and part of a machine that really pushes out these images and propagates these really terrible standards that are false. Nothing that you see is real, even if you look at what looks like a candid photo of someone, anything can be done. It is false advertising and false advertising is a crime so why isn’t this a crime? I’m just up in arms about it.”

It's nice to see someone talking about the 'false advertising' going on in the media because I think we need to be reminded that what we look at and compare ourselves to is made up! I think the fact that an actress is stepping up to talk about it provides even more credibility. Greg Apodaca has a photography website that has some pictures that you can roll your mouse over, and the image switches from airbrushed to non-airbrushed so you can see the difference. It is pretty wild. Follow this link to check it out... you will be amazed (and not in a good way). Seeing the difference in the photos may help you to view images in print with a more discerning eye :-).

It's Love Your Body Day!!

There's a lot going on this week!! Fat Talk Free Week started Monday, and today, October 20, is Love Your Body Day!

Having one day set aside to be thankful for our bodies is great, and yet, I think that loving our body is something we should try to do everyday! This can be a pretty tough task.. which is why I italicized the word 'try.' : ) Take some time out today to consider all that your body does for you- that usually fosters gratitude for what we have!!

Fat Talk Free Week is Here!

Fat Talk Free Week is happening this week. What does this mean?? Well, if you scroll down, the last few posts that I have written have been geared towards Fat Talk Free Week! This is a week set aside each year by Delta Delta Delta to raise awareness and promote healthy body image. The idea is that by making an intentional focus throughout the week not to 'fat talk' we might encourage ourselves and each other to think more positively, have a better self image, and not put a negative focus on our bodies.

So, what exactly is 'fat talk'???

"My butt looks huge!"

"My jeans are too tight!"

"You look really good, have you lost weight?"

"I look so gross today."

"I need to work out double today since I ate that piece of cake yesterday."

"I wish I could wear a size (---)"

"I need to lose 10 lbs."

These are just a few examples-- I am sure you can think of others that you say or have heard others say. I think we are pretty desensitized to 'fat talk' and for that reason, I think just becoming more aware of its presence and trying to eliminate it could bring about a huge and positive change- not just for us but for those around us too. Consider how your words have an impact on others-- when we say these disparaging remarks about ourselves in the presence of others, we are not just shaming ourselves- we are shaming others! It is difficult not to influence others when we speak negatively about our bodies or choices with food or the size of our jeans- so even if it is just out of respect for others, be kind to yourself! Try it this week and see how it feels! : )

In honor of Fat Talk Free Week coming up (it starts Monday!), I wanted to point you to a few great reads that have been published online in the last few days. The first is an article that I just read-- a very empowering and bold interview given by plus size model and winner of America's Next Top Model cycle 10, Whitney Thompson. She is very outspoken about her role in the modeling industry as a voice of change and as one promoting healthy body image. In fact, she is an ambassador (aka- spokesperson) for the National Eating Disorders Association, NEDA. It is def worth checking out; Sunny Gold's article and interview with Whitney can be found by following this link to the Huffington Post (what else?!).

The other article is one that was just published in Newsweek and has been getting a lot of attention. Newsweek wrote an article mentioning Fat Talk Free Week- a pretty big deal, as far as creating awareness! It's a great article that defines the essence of Fat Talk Free Week. Check it out here. And in the meantime, consider how you can start cutting the fat talk out of your life. Start small! More to come in the next few days!

Feeling Fat?? 7 Tips from Dr. Susan Albers

I have mentioned my love for the Huffington Post several times in posts past. Well, I want to share an article written by the fabulous Dr. Albers that was published on Friday in light of Tri-Delta's Fat Talk Free Week that is approaching (October 18-22). Dr. Albers is known for her work with mindful eating and has written many great books on the topic. In her article, she presents 7 tips to help you deal when you are feeling fat! Follow this link to check it out!

For a brief overview, her 7 tips are below! They are outlined thoroughly in her article, but just wanted to give you an idea of what you will find...

1. Pump up the music. Drown your inner critic with an empowering song!

2. Join Operation Beautiful. (Check out one of my favorite posts on Operation Beautiful- here!)

3. Lose the F-word. (Stop the fat talk- Fat Talk Free Week is approaching- pledge to eliminate this language from your vocabulary!)

4. Outsmart your thoughts.

5. Get cozy. (Wear clothes that make you feel good and that are comfy!)

6. Take a mindful walk.

7. Name it. (Fat isn't a feeling... so what are you feeling?)

Mean Girls, Fat Talk and A Video Contest!

Mean Girls was- and still is- a classic movie about high school, popularity, and being true to yourself. It makes me laugh every time I watch it (mostly out of disbelief) because of the way it depicts the social strata of high school. I will say that one thing Mean Girls does a great job of is humorously exposing some of the hideous ways that us girls treat each other, as well as the ways that we talk about ourselves and one another. I remember at my high school, we had our own version of 'the plastics' but they called themselves 'the six pack.' Gross! Anyways, one scene that really stands out to me takes place in Regina George's bedroom, where all four 'mean girls' are hanging out. They end up in front of the mirror, picking themselves apart and engaging in negative talk about their bodies. Cady, the new girl in the group, doesn't understand why they are talking so badly about themselves. The following is the dialogue that takes place in front of the mirror:

"My hips are huge."

"Oh please, I hate my calves."

"At least you can wear halters, I have man shoulders."

"My hairline is so weird."

"My pores are huge."

"My nail beds suck."

Now, let's face it. We all have moments where we may not feel our best, but ladies, this kind of talk, also known as 'fat talk' needs to stop! It is sad that we can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. So, what is fat talk and why do we need to cut it out?? According to the Reflections: Body Image Program, "Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”." Fat talk reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies, and also has a negative impact on others as well!

So what can we do about this?! Well, there is a very unique way for you to get involved, share your voice, and help to impact change!! Fat Talk Free Week, put on annually by Tri-Delta and the Reflections: Body Image Program, will be starting soon-- on October 18-22! I will be posting more on this as the time draws closer, but wanted to alert you all of a great opportunity! This year, there is a video contest. Make a short video to show what you are doing to end 'fat talk' and upload it to the official End Fat Talk facebook fan page (here). Video submissions are due by Wednesday, October 20. Once uploaded, friends and family can vote for your video and one lucky winner will take home a $1000 gift card to Best Buy! This video campaign is a great way to promote positive body talk and to impact change!!

Below is a powerful video that was made to inspire change, as well as to promote Fat Talk Free Week. Consider participating in the video contest this year. And if you aren't feeling compelled to submit a video, that's okay!! But think about how else you might be able to get involved this year to help reduce and eliminate fat talk- whether it starts with you, in your own mind and conversations, or in conversations you have with others. One person can make a difference.

Body Gossip

There is a very cool body image campaign going on in the UK called Body Gossip. I love the name. This movement is all about encouraging real people to share real stories about their bodies and struggles with body image because "realistic beauty needs celebrating and supporting." They have enlisted celebrity actors and actresses to re-tell stories that people write in and share, and then they film them and make these videos and films available for people to watch! This is something that is happening in the UK, but what a great idea. While I think it would be more powerful for the individuals themselves to share, rather than having celebrities share the stories, I also think it is protective in nature for the individuals whose stories are being shared.

Below is one of the videos that Body Gossip has made- its called 'This One is For You' and it consists of people talking back to the eating disorder identity that can so often be consuming. I think it ends especially powerfully and I encourage you all to check it out.

Project Heal, which I have written about before (here and here) is launching a video project that is accepting one minute videos from anyone who has something to say about healthy body image, struggles with body image, what makes you beautiful, etc. If you are interested in submitting a video and you have questions, you can contact ProjectHeal.ed@gmail.com!

Video Encouragement : )

I am currently working on a presentation for Monday that I am giving on body image to women at a local college, and I am so excited. I have been preparing a multimedia presentation, and although I may have shared this video awhile ago, I want to share it again. Everytime that I watch it, I am moved by how powerful it is to hear different women share their feelings about their bodies. I think I watched it three times yesterday as I was compiling everything for my presentation!!

This video is compliments of The Body Image Project. Take a look and pass it on to your friends who might appreciate it. Not only is it one way to brighten your day, but you may brighten someone else's day by encouraging them to accept and celebrate who they are :)

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.

What Does It Mean to Have A Healthy Body Image??

Back in July, I read an article featuring actress Jada Pinkett Smith, wife of actor Will Smith, in which she expressed some of her thoughts and feelings about the importance of having a healthy body image. She emphasized how important it is for women to celebrate and love our bodies. In the interview, she discussed the magazine cover shoot she did for Essence in which she appeared wearing nothing. She said that she did this because she wanted to be an example for younger women, especially her daughter, to demonstrate what it looks like to have a healthy body image and to love and accept our bodies.

My question: Since when is celebrating your body and feeling good about it equivalent to being nude on the cover of a magazine? This article wasn't the first time I have noticed this implicit conclusion that is often drawn about the degree to which we physically expose ourselves and how much we accept our bodies. The whole idea makes zero sense to me. There are a lot of ways to love your body and model positive body image to young women (and daughters!!) outside of what you wear. Having a healthy body image is a state of mind, not just what you put on (or don't put on) when you wake up in the morning. Just because you may not want to get naked on the cover of a magazine (or wear short shorts, a tight dress, etc) does not mean that you don't love or accept your body!

This raises the question- What does having healthy body image really look like? As women, we are sometimes critical of our bodies and we may not always feel comfortable baring skin in certain outfits or in skimpy bathing suits. But some of us do. And sometimes that has to do with our body image, but sometimes it doesn't! So what does it mean to have a healthy body image? I think that healthy body image means that you can accept yourself and your body for what it is, and that you are able to acknowledge the beauty that exists inside and out. Just because you may wake up one morning not feeling so hot does not mean that you can't still accept your body and appreciate all that it does for you.. It can be a challenge some days but practicing healthy body image can go a long way! How we think about ourselves impacts how we feel, and how we feel often impacts how we behave and act. So how do we work on improving our body image??

Here is a short list of ideas that help promote healthy body image:

1. Focus on what your body does for you, rather than what size you wear or what the scale says.

2. Don't let your body hold you back from engaging in activities or participating in social activities that you might otherwise. If how you feel about your body is interfering with those things, you probably don't accept your body!

3. Be discriminating with what you are looking at (media images, TV, magazines, etc) and what you are reading. It is important to think and observe critically so that you know what is realistic and what is not. Real bodies are what make women beautiful! You don't really see that much in the media!

Would love to hear your thoughts on body image. For more, follow this link, or this one!

Scouts Honor

I don't really have many regrets in my life- but one that I do have is that I was never a Girl Scout. Ok, that's kind of a joke- but I was a Campfire Girl :). Based on the name, you might have a good idea of what kind of group this was- an outdoorsy, camping group for young girls (similar to the Girl Scouts, just more focused on camping and outdoor activities). The funniest part about this is that I asked if I could be a Campfire Girl. For those of you who know me, this is pretty laughable. I love sunshine and being outside, but I'm not exactly the prototypical nature lover and I wasn't really what you would call an outdoorsy child. When the Campfire Girls used to have camping outings, I used to ask my parents to pick me up so I could go home and sleep in my own bed, and then drop me off back at the campsite in the morning so that I could sit around the bonfire in the morning with everyone else. How terrible is that?! Haha. Now that I look back, I'm thinking there was probably a better group for me. Perhaps the Girl Scouts? : )

The Girl Scouts have recently launched a new initiative to help boost girls' self-esteem. I have been so impressed with The Girl Scout organization- they have done SO much for young girls and have really invested a lot into nurturing the self-esteem and confidence of girls all across the US. Their mission: To build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. Their new campaign, 'The Changing Face of Fashion' is based upon research that they conducted. They found that in spite of girls knowing that the fashion industry's ideals of beauty are unattainable and unrealistic, 89% of them still wanted to adhere to those standards!! As a result, the Girl Scouts hired four plus-size models and had them share their stories in a series of online videos about self-esteem and body image.

I really, really applaud the Girl Scout organization for using research and targeting a specific need of young women. I wonder though if there is a way for them to address this issue without the use of models? I wonder what it would be like for these young women to hear real women share their struggles with body image and self-esteem, and the impact that the fashion industry has had on them and how they have dealt with it and are dealing with it. I watched some of these videos (check them out here) and I wonder if these plus-size models (who are likely size 10's) do anything to help dispel these beliefs held by young women. I don't know that I have a better suggestion, but what I do know is that using the flawed modeling/fashion industry as a way to combat the irrational beliefs often perpetuated by the industry just seems a little confusing and backwards. I think at this point though, it is great just to get young girls to consider that beauty comes in all different sizes and shapes and colors. And it seems like that is what the Girl Scouts are doing! To check out more about the Girl Scouts and what they are doing, follow this link.

One Woman's Thoughts on Barbie...

I grew up playing with Barbies- cutting their hair, putting real make-up on them, and dressing them up in all kinds of crazy outfits. I actually used to force my brother to play Barbies with me sometimes when we were little and we would argue over who got to drive the Barbie corvette or the Barbie volvo- sorry Jonathan to out you like this. I was a bossy kid and I didn't like playing Barbies by myself! : ) Because of my history of playing with Barbies as a kid, I wouldn't say that I am a hater. But I would by no means say that I am a fan. The sort of global impact that Barbie has had on the self-esteems and body images of women everywhere is not to be overlooked. Let's just take a minute and look at the following facts about Barbie..

Barbie, the best selling fashion doll in the world, has unattainable and unhealthy body proportions. If she were alive, she would be unable to menstruate. Research has shown that very young girls (ages 5-7) who are exposed to Barbie have lower self esteem and want a thinner body than they have.(Dittmar, Halliwell, & Ive, 2006)

While statistics vary depending on which source you use, Barbie's dimensions (if she were alive) would be somewhere around the following- she would be 6 feet tall, 100 lbs., and wearing a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33" and as a result would have to walk on all fours because her body's dimensions would not allow her to stand upright (Statistics taken from Eating Disorders Info and ANRED).

Does playing with Barbies cause eating disorders? No way. If that were the case, we'd all have developed eating disorders. But I believe that the way in which we view our bodies and beauty has probably been shaped by Barbie, a pop cultural icon, in some capacity. Interestingly enough, the story of how Barbie came to be might surprise you. It really surprised me. Dr. Susan Albers who has written some great books on mindful eating wrote a piece in the Huffington Post recently entitled "Why I Don't Hate Barbie Anymore." She shares about the life of Ruth Handler, the woman who created Barbie. Handler, the youngest of her 10 siblings, was raised by her eldest sister. She wanted to make something of herself and be successful in spite of the odds and circumstances stacked against her. Handler found worth, value and self-esteem in her work. She even went on to create prosthetics for breast cancer survivors who had lost their breasts to cancer- sadly, she was one of these women.

This article (as well as the book written about Handler's life) provides some very interesting context and thoughts on Barbie, her legacy and the woman behind the doll, as well as a GREAT message on self-esteem and where we each find our value. I would really encourage you to check it out (here!). Let me be clear- in the words of Dr. Albers- "Barbie's negative symbolism and impact on body image clearly overshadows the rest of this story." I can't do this piece justice in my description of it, so I would encourage you to read it for yourself (here). I know I am always encouraging you all to check out different articles, but if you read just one, read this one! What a great reminder that our value and worth as people come from more than our achievements and 'success.'

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

While I was browsing People.com for my daily dose of celebrity gossip this morning, I happened to see that Jennifer Love Hewitt was featured alongside a big headline that read, "Jennifer Love Hewitt Advises Girls to 'Love the Way You Look.' Coincidentally, she was pictured in a white bikini, showing off her body that has significantly shrunk in recent days/months/years. Does anyone remember when she was photographed back in 2007 in a bikini and was publicly ridiculed for the way that she looked in the pictures?? She was raked over the coals for the shape of her body, and I remember reading about how she started dieting and working out to lose some of the weight after that happened. Here is a brief excerpt from an article written shortly after that time:

Late last year (2007) the blogosphere got pretty mean about actress Jennifer Love Hewitt looking a little heavier than normal. At the time she said she was a size 2 and that she wasn’t fat, but she mostly worried about how the attention would affect image-conscious girls who saw the media calling her fat. While she says the two aren’t connected, she’s lost 18 pounds in the last four months with the help of trainer Stevie Sant’Angelo.

Hmmm. It seems odd to me that those two things were not connected. But either way, I find it all the more ironic that she is doling out such advice to young women to love the way their bodies look, since her way of loving her body was to change hers! Jennifer Love Hypocrite?

While I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pressure a female in Hollywood must face to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty, I also do not think that this justifies hypocrisy. If she loved what she looked like so much, why did she feel the need to change? She is sending such an unfortunate message to young women because while she is saying, "When I meet young girls, I'm always like, 'Just do me one favor, love what you look like right now – and remember I said it 10 years from now because it's the greatest gift I can give", her actions are telling a very different story. This quote was taken from the People.com article, which you can read by following this link. A few lines down, she says that she was so embarrassed by the pictures of her body taken in 2007 that she gave up eating 'her beloved donuts' and started fitting in workouts to her schedule so that she could 'get healthier.'

I am all for being healthy. Trust me. But it just seems like she is sending a very mixed message! And I think we are all too often inundated with mixed messages from the media, to the point that we fail to see things as they really are. It's helpful to expose mixed messages when we see them, and I would encourage you all to be mindful of what you see and hear! When it comes to the media, what you see is not what you get.

I guess I just feel bad for Jennifer Love Hewitt because I feel like she is really the one who is losing here. You never win when you have to change your outer appearance in order to love yourself and be happy. Yes, sometimes we do have to make changes so that we can become more healthy, but happiness and love are not dependent on or defined by how we look in a bikini, or how good we look in pictures. Happiness, love and beauty really do come from the inside out- not by losing 18 pounds in 4 months.

Race For The Cure and Body Image

The Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure took place in Raleigh, NC this past Saturday, and it was such an inspiring event. It held special meaning for me, as I have a grandmother and an aunt who have both battled breast cancer-- and survived!!! My aunt was actually in town from Oregon for follow up care at Duke, and so we formed a group and all participated together in this event. I have heard that participating in a Komen race is very different than other races, and as a first time participant, I think I saw why. First, there were SOOO many people that participated. If you look at the picture below-- it is a little tough to make out-- but as far as you can see, there are people that fill up the streets.

The other thing that seemed different to me was the heart and spirit in this event. I think that most people participating had been touched in some way by breast cancer. While my grandma and aunt are survivors, not everyone wins their battle with breast cancer. One of my friends that participated on our team lost her mother to breast cancer. Many, many people have lost loved ones to this illness and it is really heartbreaking.

The picture below is actually a shot of a few of the women that were on our team-- "Breast of Friends" : ) and you will notice the hot pink paper on these women's backs. These hot pink sheets of paper served as memorials to write names of people that you were walking in celebration of (survival), or in memory of, for those who have passed away. It was really sobering and emotional to see all of the names of people who have lost their lives to this illness. I think anytime, with any illness or disease, seeing names or faces make an impact because it personalizes the illness. In talking to my aunt over the course of her visit to Raleigh, she shared with me that battling and surviving breast cancer has changed her life and the way that she lives it in so many ways. One thing that she said that stood out to me was that she is thankful every single morning when she wakes up and realizes how blessed she is to be alive, and to have a body that works and is healthy.
This really impacted me and made me consider how her wise words can be applied to those of us who have not battled breast cancer! First, I think that her attitude of thankfulness is one to be emulated. There are a million ways that having an attitude of gratefulness and thankfulness can impact us-- as well as those around us. Whether it means that we worry a little less, we appreciate what we have more, or take our eyes off of what we lack and what we wish we had and focus on what we do have, it is always good to have perspective, and to live in a way that reflects that attitude.

Secondly, I think that this relates to body image and the ways that we think of and care for our bodies. I want to be clear, like I am often, that eating disorders are a mental illness. Part of having an eating disorder (diagnostically) is experiencing a severe disturbance and preoccupation with one's weight, shape, size, body-- so this is in no way meant to minimize the severity and nature of these thoughts. What I will say though, is that for those of us who struggle with body image and have a negative self-image, this may be a good reminder and an encouragement about all that our bodies can do for us, and how blessed we are to have bodies that are able to function how they are supposed to, that allow us to be active, and that allow us to experience life! Yes, it may be upsetting when our jeans fit more snug; yes, it may get you down when you flip through a magazine and see nothing but airbrushed 'beauties'; and yes, it may be frustrating when you don't feel good about yourself! These are all feelings that most women have experienced before, so you are not alone! But I will encourage you with the words of my brave aunt, who said that she wakes up every morning, thankful to be alive and to have a body that works. Rather than focus so much on the way that our bodies look, maybe if we start to appreciate all that our bodies do for us, and the fact that they allow us to experience life, we may begin to embrace our bodies a little more and appreciate them for what they are and what they do for us.

Anyone Need a Body Image Boost??

While the first official day of Summer has not yet arrived (it's June 21st if anyone was wondering!), Memorial Day has come and gone and regardless of where you live, the weather is probably/hopefully starting to get a little warmer. I know that here in Raleigh, NC, the weather has been downright HOT. These 90 degree days filled with humidity have me a little concerned about what August may bring. But at least it's finally pool weather right???

Well, for some women (I would bet most), warmer weather and getting into a bathing suit can trigger anything from a few nerves to a full on panic attack. The obsession with our bodies continues to reach new heights, and sometimes what we need is to step back and get a giant body image boost. Dr. Michael Levine and Dr Linda Smolak, together with NEDA, compiled a list of 10 "will-powers" for improving body image. I have been using this list with some of my clients lately (because I think that it is pretty great), and because I have gotten a lot of feedback on how helpful it has been, I wanted to share a few of them with all of you. My hope is that the following list may help us all to spend more time enjoying the sunshine, the company of friends and family, and the water this summer, rather than focusing on what we perceive to be the flaws and faults in our bodies!

1. I will ask myself, "Am I benefiting from focusing on what I believe are the flaws in my body weight or shape?

2. I will think of 3 reasons why it is ridiculous for me to believe that thinner people are happier or 'better.' I will repeat these reasons to myself whenever I feel the urge to compare my body shape to someone.

3. I will surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities. When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.

4. I will practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel and do. Not for how slender, or 'well put together' they appear.

5. I will list 5-10 good qualities that I have, such as understanding, intelligence, or creativity. I will repeat those to myself whenever I start to feel bad about my body.

An Open Letter to Shape Magazine

Below is the text of an email that I just sent to Shape Magazine, after seeing Kim Kardashian on its June 2010 cover. Kim Kardashian is famous for being the one time best friend of Paris Hilton and a reality TV star; she also happens to endorse QuickTrim, a diet supplement.

Dear Shape Magazine,

I may or may not have complained about your choice in cover girls prior (see here). To be honest, I don't want to dislike your magazine, but there is just no way I will ever buy it, or read it again in good conscience after seeing this month's cover featuring Kim Kardashian. I used to read your publication a lot in college, and even then, I recognized some of the mixed messages you often send to your readers. However, it's only been in the more recent past that I have seen just how crazy, blatant and dangerous some of these mixed messages are for readers.

Kim Kardashian endorses QuickTrim. QuickTrim, according to its website, "is among the best known weight loss supplements recently introduced. This line of 4 products has been created and marketed specifically by the Kardashian sisters. They claim that they will cleanse and detoxify your body, burn fat, and even reduce cellulite, working as a spot treatment for some." Just in case you were unaware, weight loss supplements are diet pills. For some reason, I thought that your magazine was trying to encourage women to be fit and healthy. But what I wonder now is that if by putting Kim on your cover, you are also condoning the use of diet pills by glorifying a celebrity who has been outspoken about her use of diet pills? Granted, if every female on every magazine cover was determined based on health, we may have a lot less cover girls (which says something), but this is the second time this year that you have chosen a cover girl who has been controversial.

I hope it doesn't seem like I am overreacting. Maybe my tirade will seem appropriate with a few facts. Diet pills lure people because they promise quick and easy weight loss, but they contain toxic ingredients and harmful substances that are seriously threatening to one's health. Most diet pills are not regulated by the FDA, which means that they may contain more of the hazardous chemicals than advertised, and the combinations that exist among the different substances may be lethal. Many diet pills have been banned after people taking them have died or have had serious complications as a result- ephedra, fen-phen, etc.. If that weren't bad news enough, diet pills can cause the following (pull up a chair- this is a long list): nervousness, restlessness, insomnia, high blood pressure, fatigue and hyperactivity, heart arrhythmias and palpitations, congestive heart failure or heart attack, stroke, headaches, dry mouth, vomitting and diarrhea or constipation, intestinal disturbances, tightness in chest, tingling in extremities, excessive persperation, dizziness, disruption in mentrual cycle, change in sex drive, hair loss, blurred vision, fever and urinary tract problems. Overdoses can cause tremors, confusion, hallucinations, shallow breathing, renal failure, heart attack and convulsions (taken from www.something-fishy.org).

It's hard to imagine (especially after reading this list of health risks) that you all would use a cover girl for your magazine who has been so open about her use of diet pills in order to achieve a body that she is comfortable with. I think it sends such a poor message to young girls and women and discredits any guise that your magazine has of health. Please consider that young girls and women read your magazine and pick up on these messages. 'Beauty' and being thin at any cost is not health.