Baby Don't You Change...

It's a gloomy, slightly drizzly Monday afternoon in Raleigh, and I am listening to some good, happy Monday music- Tyrone Wells. One of his songs that I really like is called Baby Don't You Change. One of my friends that heard TW play live a few months back told me that before he played this song, he gave a little spiel on wanting women to feel loved, that he wants women to have positive body image, and that he wants women to know that they don't need to change to be beautiful, or look like models to be beautiful! Now there's a positive, refreshing message you don't always hear in music lyrics today!! I thought I'd share, so here it is- enjoy!!

It's National Compliment Day! : )

I just found out it's National Compliment Day!! Which of course calls for a blog post, right?! Things have been a little busy for me lately... so I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to. BUT, who can pass up National Compliment Day? 


Regardless of when you actually read this post, make sure that you are taking time to tell your loved ones, family members, friends, co-workers, the person bagging your groceries, your mailman, etc. what you appreciate about them! It never hurts to hear :) A little positive affirmation can go a long way! And, you just never know what a kind word can do for someone.  In that same vein, don't forget to remember the things you like about yourself!! It not only helps to build your confidence, but the way that we think impacts how we feel and how we act. You can start a positive chain reaction simply by having a positive thought!


Soo- Make it your goal to tell at least one person today what you appreciate about them! Ready... go! 

A Little Update...

Back in April, I felt inspired to re-post a blog that Nancy Matsumoto wrote regarding the dilemma of when to speak up and express concern over a friend's eating disorder. You can read that post here. Nancy is a blogger (she blogs over at Eating Disorders and Nutritional News), but she is also an accomplished writer, as well as a friend that I have mentioned on my blog many times. Recently, a reader of mine responded to that particular blog post and was really touched by what Nancy had written. I shared that with Nancy, who then wrote a follow up blog. If you are interested in checking that out (it's a good one!), follow this link. Thanks to Nancy for her kind and compassionate words on such a difficult topic!

Save the Date!!!

I have been SO excited about this event as its been in the early planning stages for the last few months, and I wanted to share with all of you that on April 3, 2011, Raleigh will host its first NEDA WALK!! There are some great and amazing people that have been working so hard to help plan a great event, which will hopefully raise much needed funds to benefit eating disorder research and also raise awareness about eating disorders. I will be posting periodic updates about details and events that will be happening during National Eating Disorder Awareness Week as well as the walk itself. I am so excited to be a part of this and am really looking forward to April 3!! If you are interested in being apart of the Raleigh NEDA Walk 2011 in some capacity... whether volunteering, sponsoring/donating, or registering to participate in the walk, check out our website here. You will also find out more information about the walk on our site. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an email at MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com, or contact the walk coordinator, Michelle Adolphsen at RaleighNedaWalk@gmail.com. 

What Will You Gain This Year??

On my way to work the other day, I heard a radio advertisement that started out with a woman saying something like- "This year, I don't want to lose weight." That got my attention pretty fast!! ... You don't hear that very often, especially around this time of the year! Out of curiosity I kept listening and the ad continued on, while the actress re-stated the same objective (not wanting to lose weight)-- just in different ways. Then she said, "This year, I will gain ten fingers, and ten toes." I was a little taken aback by that, but once I realized that this was an ad for a local fertility/reproductive center at a local hospital I laughed and understood!! I think what I liked about this ad was that it focused not on losing something about ourselves in the New Year but on gaining or adding something to ourselves in the New Year. And I don't mean weight!! 

I think at this time of the year ("diet season") when it's so easy to get caught up in the latest diet fads, celebrity 'diet tricks and secrets', resolutions to drop X number of pounds...  it's helpful to consider instead what we might GAIN in this new year. Now, again... I am not talking about weight in all of this. :) What I am talking about is what we might add to our lives, what we might gain in experiences, perspective, knowledge, faith, love, etc.. Consider 2011 as an opportunity to grow, to do new things, to add meaning to your life in new ways. Rather than having resolutions or goals that reinforce unhealthy beliefs or behaviors, think about putting your energy into positive things that will enrich your life and will enable you to pursue your dreams and aspirations. Growing in health might certainly be one of those goals, and that is fantastic. Remember above all what it means to be healthy!! Health is more than just a physical state, it is a mental, emotional, and spiritual state as well. Be mindful and aware of your goals and how you approach them- Are your goals adding something beneficial to your life? Are you growing in knowledge of yourself and others?  Do you have any accountability or support in your life to help you pursue your goals and dreams? Maybe those are some questions for us all to think about as we move towards our goals this year... ! Happy 2011 everyone! : )

Happy New Year, friends! While I planned on my first post of 2011 being lighthearted with some encouraging thoughts for the New Year (don't worry, those are coming soon), I felt like I needed to first address something that has been coming up the last few days in many conversations that I have had with friends and clients alike. French model Isabelle Caro died at age 28 after a long struggle with anorexia. She had been struggling with anorexia since her youth, the struggle spanning half of her short life. When she entered the world of modeling, she was already struggling with her eating disorder; however, the environmental pressures resulted in further triggering her into an extremely dangerous state which in 2005 ultimately led her into a coma. Doctors thought that she would not survive, but she came out of the coma, was discharged from the hospital and continued to model. She wanted people to see the devastating effects and impact that an eating disorder has on its sufferer, and as a result, she decided to pose nude for an Italian advertisement in 2007 in an attempt to de-glamorize the thin ideal. More recently, within the last few years, she had been on different television shows and news programs discussing her experience with anorexia. Her recent death is extremely upsetting- and this entire story has raised some really important questions for me.

First, in 2007, when Isabelle posed for this campaign, she reportedly said regarding her intentions and hopes for such a campaign.. "I've hidden myself and covered myself for too long. Now I want to show myself fearlessly, even though I know my body arouses repugnance. I want to recover because I love life and the riches of the universe. I want to show young people how dangerous this illness is. " I think what makes me so sad about this is that she wanted to recover, she wanted to live a full life, and yet she wasn't able to do it on her own. Anorexia is a mental illness, and it is extremely difficult for one to recover on her own. I guess I just wonder if her death could have been prevented. Why did the people around her continue to allow her to be the face of anorexia in the media, rather than helping her take the steps to health that she could not take on her own? I am not saying that her death is the fault of her acting coach, or booking agent, or doctor, or whomever, but when someone suffering from an eating disorder reaches a certain point (not just weight wise- but health wise), hospitalization/treatment is necessary for recovery. How is it that she was made famous by her eating disorder, and yet people stood by and let her continue in it? I'm angry that she was encouraged and supported to keep putting herself out there and it makes me wonder why the people closest to her did not stop her and lovingly get her the help that she needed. I know that the sufferer has to want to recover, and no one can force recovery, but it sounds like she did want to recover.. she just was not able to do it on her own, like so many others. I don't know if the people around Isabelle tried to get her into some kind of treatment, and I would have to imagine (or hope) that they tried at some point. But I think this whole story highlights both the nature of anorexia as a mental illness AND the importance of people receiving the appropriate care, treatment and help that they need-- and how sometimes that means that they NEED help from others in order to get there.

Secondly, the Italian fashion house that promoted Isabelle's 'no anorexia' campaign wanted to support Caro by using " the naked body to show everyone the reality of this illness, caused in most cases by the stereotypes imposed by the world of fashion. " I think that eating disorder education certainly needs to happen, and I respect the efforts of those involved to that end. What concerns me is that eating disorders are not caused by the fashion industry. Certainly the thin ideal, the unrealistic standard of beauty created by the media etc contributes, but if the fashion industry causes eating disorders, then why do we not all have them? It is because eating disorders are caused by many different factors, including significant genetic ones. 

I guess all of this got me thinking again about helpful ways to educate people about eating disorders. How do we effectively portray the severity and danger of an eating disorder while also not plastering photos around that can be more triggering and harmful than good for people to see? When someone suffering from an eating disorder sees a deathly looking skeletal body and may not look the same, she may be tempted to think that she is not really suffering or struggling as badly, or that her health is not being impacted. And in some ways, images further stereotype what an eating disorder 'looks like.' One in four college aged women suffers from eating disorders, but that does not mean that one in four college aged women are walking around looking like skeletons... or that their eating disorders are any less of a threat to their health because of what they look like. I think we need to be careful about how we communicate about eating disorders. I don't know that I have any good global solutions at this point, but I think it's important and necessary to ask the questions. 

In all of this, I am just sad that another life has been lost as a result of a devastating mental illness. I hope that her death is not in vain, and that she may serve as a reminder to all of us that anorexia (in addition to other eating disorders) is a real and dangerous illness that is capable of tragic outcomes when not treated.